Month: January 2005
Girls: Looking to Date A Geek?
Why wouldn’t you? Geek guys rule.
Companies That Fire People For Blogging
Keep this list printed up as you’re out and about looking for jobs. Link via BB.
The $55,000 PC
I know if I had $55,000, it wouldn’t be going towards this.
Oregon Employers Don’t Give A Rip?
That’s sort of the way I’m reading this press release. It says “Nearly half of Oregon employers treat their employees well to help reduce turnover, according to the results of a recent survey.” So do the other 50% just not give a rip?
Just something to think about.
Rocket Balloons
I don’t know where Barney got this image, but I would love to be driving down the highway and see this:
Useless Image Captcha
You’ve probably seen those image captchas that make it so that you have to type in a code from an image before you can submit information on a form. For example, some people have implemented this MovableType plugin to block bots from submitting comment forms. It’s effective against comment spam, but screws with accessibility.
Anyhow, I generally don’t have a problem with them, but this one I saw on Register.com’s Whois Page (you have to put a URL in the field before you can see it) is nearly impossible to translate:
Am I the only one that has a hard time reading that? I couldn’t actually get through that one, so I had to cancel and try it again with a more readable captcha. The rest of them looked a bit better (and the only reason I was using Register.com’s Whois is because the domain was registered there and I wanted to get as much info as I could), but they’re still much harder to read than the typical captcha.
Ordering Pizza in 2008
Operator: Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national ID number?
Customer: Hi, I’d like to place an order.
Operator: I must have your NIDN first, sir.
Customer: My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it’s 6102049998-45-54610.
Operator: Thank you Mr Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number is 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number is 266-2566. Email address is [email protected]. Which number are you calling from sir?
Customer: Huh? I’m at home. Where’d you get all this information?
Operator: We’re wired into the HSS, sir.
Customer: The HSS, what is that?
Operator: We’re wired into the Homeland Security System, sir. This will add only 15 seconds to your ordering time.
Customer: (sighs) Oh well, I’d like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas.
Operator: I don’t think that’s a good idea, sir.
Customer: Whaddya mean?
Operator: Sir, your medical records and commode sensors indicate that you’ve got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won’t allow such an unhealthy choice.
Customer: What?!?! What do you recommend, then?
Operator: You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I’m sure you’ll like it.
Customer: What makes you think I’d like something like that?
Operator: Well, you checked out ‘Gourmet Soybean Recipes’ from your local library last week, sir. That’s why I made the suggestion.
Customer: All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then.
Operator: That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids. Your 2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir. Your total is $49.99.
Customer: Lemme give you my credit card number.
Operator: I’m sorry sir, but I’m afraid you’ll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit.
Customer: I’ll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here.
Operator: That won’t work either, sir. Your checking account is overdrawn also.
Customer: Never mind! Just send the pizzas. I’ll have the cash ready. How long will it take?
Operator: We’re running a little behind, sir. It’ll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you’re in a hurry you might want to pick’em up while you’re out getting the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward.
Customer: Wait! How do you know I ride a scooter?
Operator: It says here you’re in appears on your car payments, so your car got repo’ed. But your Harley’s paid for and you just filled the tank yesterday.
Customer: Well, I’ll be a #%#^^&$%^$@#
Operator: I’d advise watching your language, sir. You’ve already got a July 4, 2003 conviction for cussing out a cop and another one I see here in September for contempt at your hearing for cussing at a judge. Oh yes, I see here that you just got out from a 90 day stay in the State Correctional Facility. Is this your first pizza since your return to society?
Customer: (speechless)
Operator: Will there be anything else, sir?
Customer: Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke.
Operator: I’m sorry sir, but our ad’s exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics. The New Constitution prohibits this. Thank you for calling Pizza Hut.
Thanks Barney for that.
This Is Bound To Offend Somebody
A man goes into a store and asks the clerk for some “Polish Sausage”.
The clerk looked at him and asked “Are you Polish?”
The guy, clearly offended, says “Well, yes I am. But let me ask you something. If I asked you for Italian Sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian? Or, if I asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked you for a Kosher Hot Dog, would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or, if I asked you for a Taco, would you ask me if I was Mexican? Would ya, huh, Would Ya”
The clerk says, “Well no”
“And if I asked you for some Irish Whiskey, would you ask me if I was Irish? What about Canadian Bacon, would you ask me if I was Canadian?”
“Well, I probably wouldn’t.”
With self-indignation, the guy says, “Well, all right then, why did you ask me if I’m Polish just because I asked for Polish Sausage?”
The clerk replies, “Because you’re at Home Depot”.
Thanks to Bob for the joke.
McAfee Automates Google Hacking
I mentioned before how easy it is to do some damage to networks and printers with Google. McAfee is releasing a tool that will make it easier.
McAfee has released an update to its tool that uses Google to automatically search for security holes in Web sites.
SiteDigger 2.0, delivered on Monday, looks for information about a Web site’s security by sending specific queries to Google’s Web database. Known as Google hacking, such searches can turn up easily exploitable flaws and sensitive information, including credit card numbers and user account information.
While this tool is supposed to be for Webmasters looking for holes in their servers, this could also easily be used for folks looking to do something nefarious. Link via SEW Blog.