Category: Funny

This guy seems to think Google would be far better off if it got rid of Evan Williams. Last I checked, Evan left over six months ago. He’s making fun of the situation in a couple posts on his blog. Priceless.

Thanks Waxy for the link.

Actually, these guys could be considered the jerks for the year, and you’ll see why after looking at the photos (the last one isn’t work-safe — you’ve been warned).

All you need to do is invite a woman to a really expensive dinner at a fancy restaurant, and then run away when it comes time to pay the bill. Thanks Barn for the link.

Some just sent me a little note that I’m going straight to Hell for laughing at (Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect $200, etc…).

“We all know the Pope was elected in utmost secrecy with the rooms they held the conclave swept for bugs and microphones, special filtering was setup for radio waves and cell phones, etc… . But you want to know the real reason for all the secrecy and privacy? They’re in there with a bunch of little boys and they didn’t want to get caught.”

That’s just so wrong. But I still laughed. And I was baptized as a baby. I’m going straight to Hell.

An atheist professor was teaching a college class and he told the class that he was going to prove that there is no God.

He said, “God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I’ll give you 15 minutes!”

Ten minutes went by. He kept taunting God, saying, “Here I am, God. I’m still waiting.”

He got down to the last couple of minutes and a Marine just released from active duty and newly registered in the class walked up to the professor, hit him full force in the face, and sent him flying from the platform.

The professor struggled up, obviously shaken and yelled, “What’s the matter with you? Why did you do that?”

The Marine replied, “God was busy; He sent me.”

Thanks JokeADay.

A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to start a conversation.

Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.

“Oh my, I am so sorry,” the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. “Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you,” she says.

They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theater, followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens.

After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap ……. and stay for breakfast. They have a wonderful, wonderful time.

The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings.

The guy is amazed!! Everything has been SO incredible!!!!

“You know,” he said, “you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?”

“No,” she replies………”

“You just happened to catch my eye.”

Thanks Shasta Bob for that.

Computer geeks will eventually create software that will do everything for them. The latest example is this open-source project that automatically creates Computer Science Papers. Using the software, the creators even managed to get a paper accepted into a conference. Just check out this abstract I had it create:

The investigation of Lamport clocks has studied model checking, and current trends suggest that the understanding of RAID will soon emerge. After years of key research into DNS, we disconfirm the refinement of gigabit switches, which embodies the typical principles of cryptoanalysis. In order to address this quandary, we introduce new classical information (SnodGay), which we use to verify that interrupts can be made virtual, scalable, and heterogeneous.

For anybody who understands computer terminology, you’ll realize how hilarious that statement is.

Since they’ve been accepted to a conference, they plan on going to the conference and give a completely randomly-generated talk, delivered entirely with a straight face. What I wouldn’t do to see that in person.

Thanks BB for the link.

A grandmother and her garden gnome.

If taken properly, Viagra can be considered kosher. Thanks Barn for the link.