Can you imagine playing Tetris?
Category: Funny
Chuck Norris Ain’t Got Nothing on Bruce Schneier
You’ve probably all seen the Chuck Norris random fact generator. While hilarious, I think the random facts about encryption-guru Bruce Schneier are just as scary as a round-house kick to the head from Chuck. Granted, you have to be a geek to appreciate stuff like this:
Bruce Schneier once broke AES using nothing but six feet of rusty barbed wire, a toothpick, and the front axle from a 1962 Ford Falcon.
Fox News Has That Effect On Me, Too
Watch closely as they switch cameras on this — somebody’s sleepy.
You Want Hassle-Free Flying?
While the Feds have relaxed some of the earlier imposed liquid restrictions, you’ll still probably be better off flying naked (NSWF)
We’ll just ignore the fact that the human body is mostly liquid, OK? Don’t want the feds to figure out that little secret.
Thanks Barn for the link, which I swear I posted before, but I can’t seem to find it since my search form seems to be causing me trouble (I’m working on a fix).
What If You Were Darth Vader’s Younger Brother, Chad?
You’d manage a grocery store, and you could never live up to your older brother’s standards.
Bill Gates Is Retiring In A Couple Years
Hopefully his farewell address doesn’t go something like this.
The Lie Clock
A co-worker sent me this one…
A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, “What are all those clocks?”
St. Peter answered, “Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move.”
“Oh,” said the man, “Whose clock is that?”
That’s Nelson Mandela’s. The hands have never moved, indicating that he never told a lie.”
Incredible,” said the man. “And whose clock is that one?”
St. Peter responded, “That’s Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life.”
Where’s Bush’s clock?” asked the man.
St. Peter responded, “Bush’s clock is in Jesus’ office. He’s using it as a ceiling fan.”
Darth Vader Has A Nervous Breakdown
Very well done dubbing of James Earl Jones’ voice for comedic effect.
Host Gets Canned By PBS For “Technical Virgin” Vibrator Video
Just goes to show you that not only is PBS a bit too conservative and that past online acting gigs can come back to bite you in the butt.
Many years ago, there were a couple of hilarious public-service-style videos and parody testimonials at technicalvirgin.com. Basically, the premise behind the site was that you could still fool around and still technically be a virgin.
Melanie Martinez, one of the girls in one of the videos (which you can see below), got a gig hosting a preschool-targeted show on PBS’s Sprout network. PBS recently became aware of the videos, and decided to can her.
Why PBS would ever think that a preschooler would know about these videos is beyond me, and Technical Virgin now has a link to a petition you can sign to bring her back.
Read on for the videos (and the other video they posted on the site). They’re a bit slow-loading as YouTube is having some issues today.