Category: Funny

Next time you see an ad for Web hosting with a ton of features for a price that seems to good to be true, understand that this may be really what you’re getting (thanks Blake for the image — click below for full view):

I posted a few stories last week about some wacky crimes and other morons in Central Oregon, even got a few linked on OregonLive’s Odd Blog, but I don’t hold a candle to this guy:

A Troutdale man’s hopes of seeing the Gresham Police Department up close were fulfilled when he was arrested for burglary.

Wade Silva, 22, told Gresham police that he was interested in riding along on a patrol “to see what it’s like.” He told officers he had relatives who work as police officers in other states.

But a standard records check to clear Silva for the ride-along revealed that he had an outstanding felony arrest warrant for burglary.

Police snagged Silva when he showed up Tuesday for his ride-along, 25 minutes late.

Link from Jack.

I only hope that I’m this creative if my kids ever do something this stupid. A 13-year-old got into his parents booze stash, as well as a $120 bottle of Dom Perignon, and subsequently lied about his involvement. His punishment? His parents sold his PlayStation 2, his most prize possession, on eBay. Thanks to Craig for the link.

Oh, this would be entertaining. They’re working on fixing it, but because of the late date of the Republican convention this year, there’s a chance that George W. Bush might not make it on to Illinois’ ballot.

As I’m pretty sure this isn’t how you spell cemetery. Thanks to Barney for the tip.

According to new research into chemical residue found in the dust collecting on computers and other electronics devices, the PC that you’re using to read this story could pose a long-term threat to your health. Full Story, news tip from Barney.

But looking at these kids in the picture, cruisin’ is probably all they have. Link via Fark.

Joke from Shasta Bob…

As the President is getting off the helicopter in front of the White House, he has a baby pig under each arm.

The Marine guard snaps to attention, salutes, and says: “Nice pigs, sir.”

The President replies: “These are not pigs, these are authentic Texan Razorback Hogs. I got one for VP Cheney, and I got one for Defense Secretary Rumsfeld.

The Marine again snaps to attention, salutes, and replies, “Nice trade, sir.”

A lawyer who barked like a dog at a witness during a deposition has been fined $8,500 for misconduct and harassment of opponents.

The lawyer, David Fink, made false statements, failed to comply with court orders and engaged in frivolous conduct during a breach of contract suit over home furnishing designs, Manhattan state Supreme Court Justice Charles Ramos said.

Full Story. Thanks Barney for the link.

I just got this joke from a buddy of mine….

Mr. Smith goes to the doctor’s office to collect his wife’s test results.

Receptionist: “I’m sorry, sir, but there has been a bit of a mix-up and we have a problem. When we sent the samples from your wife to the lab, the samples from another Mrs. Smith were sent as well and we are now uncertain which one is your wife’s. Frankly, that’s either bad or terrible.”

Mr. Smith: “What do you mean?”

Receptionist: “Well, one Mrs. Smith has tested positive for Alzheimer disease and the other for AIDS. We can’t tell which is your wife.”

Mr. Smith: “That’s terrible! Can we do the test over?”

Receptionist: “Normally, yes. But you have an HMO, and they won’t pay for these expensive tests more than once.”

Mr. Smith: “Well, what am I supposed to do now?”

Receptionist: “The doctor recommends that you drop your wife off in the middle of town. If she finds her way home, don’t sleep with her.