Category: Funny

(Joke via Yoleen)

Just watched a show on Canadian TV. There was a black comedian who said he misses Bill Clinton. “Yep, that’s right – I miss Bill Clinton! He was the closest thing we ever got to having a black man as President.

Number 1- He played the sax.

Number 2- He smoked weed.

Number 3- He had his way with ugly white women.

Even now? Look at him… his wife works, and he don’t! And, he gets a check from the government every month.

Manufacturers announced today that they will be stocking America’s shelves this week with “Clinton Soup,” in honor of one of the nations’ most distinguished men. It consists primarily of a weenie in hot water.

Chrysler Corporation is adding a new car to its line to honor Bill Clinton. The Dodge Drafter will be in production in Canada this year.

When asked what he thought about foreign affairs, Clinton replied, “I don’t know, I never had one.”

American Indians nicknamed Bill Clinton “Walking Eagle” because he is so full of shit, he can’t fly.

Clinton lacked only three things to become one of America’s finest leaders: integrity, vision, wisdom.

Clinton was doing the work of three men: Larry, Curly and Moe.

The Clinton revised judicial oath: “I solemnly swear to tell the truth as I know it, the whole truth as I believe it to be, and nothing but what I think you need to know.”

Clinton will be recorded in history as the only President to do Hanky Panky between Bushes

What would life be like if you could use Photoshop tools in real life? An entertaining Fark Photoshop contest.

Why use eBay when you can sell your stuff on MyPoAss.com? Full Story via PRBop.

This is classic. The Oregon Lottery named one of their scratch-it tickets “Casino Fortune.” Thanks to that name, an off-shore casino by the same name is reaping some decent benefits — $500,000 $940,000 or so — from the alleged trademark infringement. Full Story.

A condom stands up to inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks and gives one a sense of security while screwing others.

(An old joke, but still a good one. E-mail from Barney.)

A man returning home a day early from a business trip got into a taxi at the airport just after midnight. The man suspected his wife was having an affair and he intended to catch her in the act.

While enroute to his home, he asked the cabbie if he was willing to be a witness. For $100, the cabbie agreed.

Quietly arriving at the house, the husband and cabbie tiptoed into the bedroom. The husband switched on the lights, yanked the blanket back and there was his wife in the arms of another man!

The husband pulled out a gun and held it to the naked man’s head.

“Don’t do it!” His wife shouted. “This man has been very generous! I lied when I told you I inherited all that money. This man paid for the Corvette I bought for you. He paid for our new cabin cruiser and the yacht club membership. He paid for our cottage at the lake. He paid for our golf club membership, and he even pays the monthly dues!”

Shaking his head from side-to-side, the husband slowly lowered the gun.

Looking over at the cab driver, he asks, “What would you do?”

The cabbie thinks for a brief moment and says, “I’d cover him up with that blanket before he catches a cold.”

(joke via Jumbo Joke)

Just follow the ways of the Amish.

My name is Ass Master. What’s yours? Link via SEB.

That’s right. He can’t get enough Dick. Politically incorrect link via Pat.

A pair of young lovers so annoyed their neighbors with a noisy sex session that police had to go and ask them to lower the volume. Full Story.