Nude Man Caught Covered in Nacho cheese

I’ll just let this speak for itself:

A Maryville man spent his 23rd birthday in custody after police said they found him early Sunday running nude from the John Sevier pool snack bar with a box of stolen snacks.

Authorities said the man had apparently scaled an 8-foot tall fence while naked and covered in nacho cheese and was seen running toward a Jeep in which officers found clothing and an open bottle of vodka.

According to Maryville police, Michael P. Monn, born July 18, 1981, of McCall Road, Maryville, was arrested by officer Scott Spicer at 5 a.m. Sunday in the parking lot of the pool at John Sevier School, Sequoyah Avenue. Monn was charged with burglary, theft of property less than $500, vandalism less than $500 and public intoxication. He was also cited with indecent exposure. Monn was held at the Blount County Jail in lieu of $9,300 bond pending a 9 a.m. Aug. 3 General Sessions Court hearing.

[…]

Authorities reported someone also defecated in a garbage can, threw nacho cheese on the exterior wall of the snack bar and scattered chips on the ground outside the facility. About $40 in chips and $7 in nacho cheese were stolen from the snack bar, police said.

Oh my…