UtterlyBoring.com

Sorry for the lack of updates today. I’ve been far too busy trying to find a job. Meanwhile, a funny little forward I got from my family:

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slowdown in the performance of flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9, and installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0 and NBA 3.0. Conversations 8.0 no longer runs and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I’ve tried running Nagging Anti-virus 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

-Desperate

________________________

Dear Desperate:

First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Install Tears 6.2 and enter the command “C:/I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME”. Husband 1.0 should then automatically run

Guilty 3.0 and Flowers 7.0. But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create SNORINGLOUDLY.WAV files. DO NOT install

Mother-in-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 6.9.

Good Luck,

Tech Support

I hit over 200 mph. How about you?

Don’t start one of these games during work, as you won’t quit:

–BeJeweled

–Collapse 738,796 is my high score…can you beat it?

–Marbles

Sara Lee is introducing crust-less bread. Yes, you read that right.

Got this joke in my inbox this morning….

(a) The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

(b) On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

(c) The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

(d) The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

(e) Conclusion: Eat and drink what you like. It’s speaking English that kills you.

…some people clip obituaries. And quite a collection they have (around 450,000).

When you setup a domain/project in Adobe Go Live and upload it, if you don’t remember to change the TITLE tag, it uses the default. Well, apparently nobody bothers to change it, as evident in this google query. (thanks NTK).

Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer is a very energetic man, and he’s been captured on video doing some pretty funny stuff. First there video of him dancing around like a monkey boy. Soon after, a video of him sweating like a pig and chanting at a developer’s conferences were released. Then somebody desided to put the video to music with some funny results. And then someone got some Domo-Kun dancing video clips and have Steve’s chanting going on. The results are absolutely hillarious.

Headline: Student strips down to protest preaching

Photo: Guy standing there in his underwear.

Story: Board of Trustees meeting

Something ain’t right, here…

Full Story

Photo

“Normal” is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work, driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for, in order to get to the job that you need so you can pay for the clothes, car and the house that you leave empty all day in order to afford to live in it.