Surfing The Web So You Don't Have To
another joke….
The interviewer examined the job application then turned to the prospective employee: “I see you have put ASAP down for the date you are available to start, meaning ‘as soon as possible’, of course. However, I also see that you have put ‘AMAP’ down for required salary. I don’t believe I’ve ever seen that before. What does it mean?”
The applicant replied, “As Much as Possible!”
Dentist to Patient: “Would you help me out? I’d like you to give a few of your loudest screams?”
Patient: “Why, Doc? It isn’t all that bad this time.”
Dentist: “There are so many people in the waiting room right now, and I don’t want to miss the 5 o’clock baseball game.”
Down at De Anza College in Cuportino, California, a judge found Al Joseph DeGuzman (a former De Anza student) guilty on 108 felony counts for “a plot to attack De Anza College with a hail of explosives and gunfire.” I’m certainly glad they convicted the lunatic. I guess the police found 57 bombs in his room at his parents house, so he was obviously going to do some damage, if given the chance.
There were five charges he was not found guilty of.
Since the joint operating agreement between the Rocky Mountain News and the Denver Post took effect, it sounds like customer service has been a nightmare. According to this article (it’s at the end of the article) in an alternative weekly in Denver, a subscriber reports that he’d been “sent a bill to renew his Post subscription at $101.25 for 48 weeks. Knowing that new subscribers get a better deal, he called and tried to negotiate but was told to ‘pay up or get cut off.'” So what did he do? He signed up his dog, and saved 40 bucks.
If you’re a lady going to school at Rancho Bernardo High School in San Diego, you better not wear a thong to a school dance — the vice principal will check you for them and send you home, embarassing you in front of everybody. Think I’m kidding?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 a piece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: Naive
Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
So if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the “Jags” and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the “Bucs”, what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea. does that mean that one enjoys it?
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes
Why do we say something is out of whack? What’s a whack?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker
Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren’t they just stale bread to begin with
When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say
Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety one?
Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
What hair color do they put on the driver’s licenses of bald men?
Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
As you may know, there were May Day riots yesterday in Paris. Some folks knew they were coming, and were prepared.
Things NOT to learn in school, from the folks at Rice University.
Wouldn’t it be cool to be able to be able to play games for a living? Unless you’re playing them professionally, you’re probably not making any money. Nintendo is going to give you a chance, however, according to this BBC Article. They’re “recruiting an army of people to look animated while playing computer games all day long all summer.” And the lucky gamers get paid $100 a day. Better than an unemployment check, that’s for sure.