Category: Uncategorized

Write your own Jerry Springer script (the site owner is working on a Jenny Jones and Jerry script part 2 module as well). The results are great!

Still need to find a few minutes to fix some minor bugs, but I’ve upgraded to Moveable Type 2.11, and I’ve fixed the comments and archives page so you can actually read them (and post). Woohoo! 🙂

Did you hear about the lady who got trapped in a news vending machine (and the Wal-Mart employees that wouldn’t help her)? It was a pretty funny story. One of my favorite columnists, Dave Barry, knows how, using what we learned in the above incident, newspapers can boost their revenue and subscriber base:

“If a relatively stupid, spring-operated newspaper vending machine can catch and hold a customer, imagine the results we’d get if we equipped these machines with computers, motors, wheels, stun guns, etc. We have the technology to make a vending machine that can chase prospective readers for miles, knock down their doors and refuse to take no for an answer.”

Read the column here

Sorry for the lack of updates today. I’ve been far too busy trying to find a job. Meanwhile, a funny little forward I got from my family:

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slowdown in the performance of flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9, and installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0 and NBA 3.0. Conversations 8.0 no longer runs and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I’ve tried running Nagging Anti-virus 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

-Desperate

________________________

Dear Desperate:

First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Install Tears 6.2 and enter the command “C:/I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME”. Husband 1.0 should then automatically run

Guilty 3.0 and Flowers 7.0. But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create SNORINGLOUDLY.WAV files. DO NOT install

Mother-in-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 6.9.

Good Luck,

Tech Support

I hit over 200 mph. How about you?

Don’t start one of these games during work, as you won’t quit:

–BeJeweled

–Collapse 738,796 is my high score…can you beat it?

–Marbles

Sara Lee is introducing crust-less bread. Yes, you read that right.

Got this joke in my inbox this morning….

(a) The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

(b) On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

(c) The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

(d) The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

(e) Conclusion: Eat and drink what you like. It’s speaking English that kills you.

…some people clip obituaries. And quite a collection they have (around 450,000).

When you setup a domain/project in Adobe Go Live and upload it, if you don’t remember to change the TITLE tag, it uses the default. Well, apparently nobody bothers to change it, as evident in this google query. (thanks NTK).