Category: Funny

Thanks to Pat for this one:

At the end of the tax year the Tax Office sent an inspector to audit the books of a synagogue. While he was checking the books he turned to the Rabbi and said, “I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with the candle drippings?” “Good question,” noted the Rabbi. “We save them up and send them back to the candle makers, and every now and then they send us a free box of candles.” “Oh,” replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way: “What about all these matzo purchases? What do you do with the crumbs?” “Ah, yes,” replied the Rabbi, realising that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. “We collect them and send them back to the manufacturers, and every now and then they send a free box of matzos.” “I see,” replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all Rabbi. “Well, Rabbi,” he went on, “what do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?” “Here, too, we do not waste,” answered the Rabbi. “What we do is save up all the foreskins and send them to the Tax Office, and about once a year they send us a complete dick.”

On a related note, despite having to claim my Google income this year, I still manage to get a tax refund this year: $891 from the Feds and $9 from the state for a grand total of exactly $900. That’ll be going right to some bills, savings, to fix some stuff on my car that really needs fixing (like the brakes — those are kind of important) and now some tires on my wife’s car, as one of them is totally hosed I just found out.

UCLA wins! Oh wait, no they didn’t. Whoops….

As I tend to on April 1st of pretty much every year, I really don’t get into April fools all that much. I generally just stayed offline yesterday as it was my day off anyway. I don’t usually spend too much time online on my days off, and spending it trying and figure out what was fake or not isn’t the best use of my time. But if you’re looking for some good recaps, check out Waxy’s list, Urgo’s huge list and Wikipedia’s massive collection of both online and offline hoaxes.

Because I would undoubtedly do something like this to it. Just look at the poor thing stagger like it’s drunk…

Especially as this commercial shows. Thanks inteviktig for the link.

A stupid little addicting flash animation which I’ve mirrored here in case the site goes down.

And if you’re wondering, yes, I still am sick, I’m just trying to clear out my inbox a bit. I’m not coughing like I was yesterday, but my head is still full of snot.

Anyway, thanks Cheryl for the link.

Apparently this video has been around a while, but it’s the first time I’ve seen it….

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