Category: Funny

I’ve always enjoyed the Bend Economy Blog, and this hilarious rant about the “thugs” in downtown Bend who hang out at Drake Park was priceless:

Well, I’ll tell all you worried newcomers who’ve spent your hard-borrowed money to move to an overwhelmingly white community where you thought there would be less crime, less drugs, less punks, more family values, more scenic views and quaint shops, don’t blame the Bend police! You newcomers have done nothing to help the situation (which gets worse the more of you arrive), and I have to suspect that some of them are your kids! Why didn’t you forbid them to get piercings? Why don’t you grab them by the ear and tell them to come home, get a haircut and a job?

Aside from the punks who actually commit crimes, why do you care where they hang out? I had comments like “it’s intimidating to walk through there with kids.” What are you doing, hanging out with your kids downtown at 1 in the morning? Or do you really think that a street punk is going to leap out and snatch your child from you in broad daylight in downtown Bend? Or is it just that you suddenly feel self-conscious, as a well-scrubbed yuppie emerging from your leased Volvo Cross Country with your kids to go get an ice cream at Goody’s, to be in the company of free-spirited youth who are lounging around with no apparent responsibilities?

Anybody who’s lived here for a long while — especially folks who have lived here for a long while and have kids — will appreciate this. Be sure to read the whole rant, as it’s a riot, whether you agree with it or not.