Category: Funny

Things are big in Texas

Joke I just got from a buddy of mine:

A Texan buys a round of drinks for all in the bar because, he announces, his wife has just produced a typical Texas baby boy weighing 25 pounds.

Congratulations showered him from all around, and many exclamations of “WOW!” were heard. A woman faints due to sympathy pains.

Two weeks later, he returns to the bar.

The bartender says, “Say, you’re the father of the typical Texas baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth. How much does he weigh now?”

The proud father answers, “Seventeen pounds.”

The bartender is puzzled, and concerned. “What happened? He already weighed 25 pounds at birth.”

The Texas father takes a slow swig from his long-neck Lone Star beer, wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bartender and proudly says, “Had him circumcised!”

Rumination for the Day

From Ruminate.com:

My new book, “How to Remove Virtually Anything From Your Butt,” hasn’t made any best-seller lists. However, my publisher informs me I’ve landed on a couple of lists run by the government, so that’s gotta count for something.

Sprite is Good Food

Oh man this is a funny parody commercial.

Wait All Day

Check out the status bar messages at this site. It starts off normal, and just gets progressively funnier. From BBSpot.

Unlikely Slashdot Articles

Fark frequently runs photoshop contests that are absolutely hilarious, but this one, showcasing unlikely SlashDot articles, was the funniest I’ve seen in a long time. Too bad it took the Slashdot folks four days to find it.

“I know guys who haven’t showered in several days … They just don’t feel the need to.”

These and the last few links were from the Obscure Store, though this one I found myself, too, as they were a former client of mine. Anyway, a great story from the Orion at CSU Chico about how disgusting college kids and their dorm rooms are.

Cigarette Lighter for your Computer

For all your smokers out there, here’s a cigarette lighter that you can install in a drive bay. Just don’t smoke around your computer too often, as it will do BAD things to the interior (smoke doesn’t mix well with anything).

Bible college shuns 666 phone number

Kentuky Mountain Bible College is throwing a fit about thier phone number prefix. Why? Because it’s “666” (which is the number of the beast, as we all know). Full Associated Press story is here.

Lap-dancer protests new laws, says her club is “very family-oriented”

I just couldn’t believe the quote in this story. Basically, it’s a story about some Michigan laws that are cracking down on lap-dancing establishments, but I had to include the link as that quote was great. Link from Fark.

Working with monkeys is bad for the complexion

Don’t believe me? It can really take a toll on a young lady’s looks.