Surfing The Web So You Don't Have To
Oh man, this entry on Davezilla.com is priceless. What if folks had warning labels on them in regards to sex?
Prostitutes: CAUTION: Filling may be hot.
Hummer drivers: Contains small parts.
Priests: May contain parts that are harmful to children if swallowed.
Prison inmates: Do not use for personal hygiene.
And it only gets better from there (Christine Aguilera: Wash hands immediately after use). Don’t forget to read the comments as they have some good ones as well)
From Ruminate.com:
When I turned 40, I decided to clean up my act and gave up drinking and smoking. Man, it was tough — there’s no way I’d have gotten through that period without my heroin.
I’m sure there’s a special place in hell reserved for the guy who invented bass boost… a room where the only album they
ever play is “Carrot-top Sings the Blues.”
It’s not that good help is hard to find, it’s just that bad help is so hard to get rid of.
I’m sure people have seen this page with Windows haiku’s (part of the new Windows Zen operating system)…but I felt like I should post something, since I haven’t in forever.
Oh man, this is great. BBspot is a great site for satire, and he (site owner Brian Briggs) wrote a great piece of satire entitled “Virus Writer’s Mom Makes Him Apologize to Everyone.” Well, apparently it was forwarded around enough that Symantec felt the need to post a “this is NOT a virus” advisory. Priceless.
Because his bathroom was in flames, Jeff Theisen ducked behind a large oak tree in his back yard to relieve himself. Before he could finish, though, a cop at the fire scene told Theisen he was under arrest for lewd conduct. “I tried to tell him, ‘Sir, my bathroom is burning. It’s on fire.’ But he didn’t seem to care. As soon as I zipped up, he put handcuffs on me.” Full Story. Link from Obscure Store.
* Q243490: Other Players Cannot See Monster on Your Screen “In addition, you cannot examine or attack this monster.”
* Q155999: Deadly Tide: An Overview of Playing the Game “Shoot everything that shoots at you or that has a yellow bracket around it.”
* Q149525: Poor Performance May Occur During FTP File Transfers “If a send request occurs that is less than one segment, Silly Window Syndrome (SWS) can occur.”
* Q161129: Kitchen: Known Content Errors “The microwave says ‘nachos’, but it sounds like ‘nauseous’.”
From b3ta: “If you’re a bit on the plump side and are going to video tape your Star Wars fighting skills on a school camera, remember to remove the cassette when you’re done. Otherwise people will stick it on the internet and the whole world will laugh at your folly.” Link to movie mirrors (and don’t forget to see the remixed version, too — damn funny).
Clearing out my inbox, have this joke from my cousin:
My husband, not happy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods. When I’m in a good mood it turns green. When I’m in a bad mood it leaves a big friggin’ red mark on his forehead.