Category: Funny

From Joke A Day: This comes from the a site selling adult panties . . . with Christian messages.

For instance, on one pair of panties there’s the message “Where will you spend eternity?”

The blurb about the panties says this:

“Where Will You Spend Eternity?

On your knees begging God for forgiveness? Well if he’s close enough to read your 100% cotton Evange – lingerie, he’s already on his knees – so start spreading, the Gospel, that is!

And don’t be caught wearing worn, used panties. Stock your drawers with a dozen pairs, so you’ll always have clean ones to wear. You never know when you might end up in an accident and have to go the hospital. Rest assured that the message on these panties will go on, even if you don’t.”

Start Shopping Here

Our real enemies are up north.

That’s the solution to fixing issues with your DVD player, so says this auction.

Most newspapers have a stash of obituraries on file for people that aren’t dead yet. It’s a common practice. However, sometimes things slip out. This isn’t a new problem, but newspapers need to make sure when they post pre-emptive obituraries on a server somewhere, they put it in a place that people can’t get to. Otherwise, this happens.

Let’s find out, shall we?

And other Country-Western Hits. From b3ta.

Screenshot via NTK.

From b3ta: Can you tell from a facial expression whether someone’s having sex or doing something else? It’s harder than you think.

From JokeADay:

I shall seek and find you . . .

I shall take you to bed and control you . . .

I will make you ache, shake, and sweat until you grunt and groan . . .

I will make you beg for mercy . . .

I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when I leave . . .

And you will be weak for days . . .

What am I?

(click more to find out the answer)

(more…)

Charlotte.com is reporting that PullMyFinger.com is selling fake ATM receipts with a six-figure balance.

ATM-itations come 24 to a pack for $3.99. The fake receipt includes the bank name of Fidelity National Bank & Savings (FNBS) with a withdrawal amount of $400 and a balance of $314,159.26. From the story:

“The faux receipt is supposed to help your single life like this: You meet a hot woman (or guy) who isn’t as interested in you as vice versa. As you search for a piece of paper to write down your number, you pull out the receipt nonchalantly, jot down your digits and give it to the woman who is obviously out of your league. If she doesn’t readily toss it on the floor, the thinking is that she will see the large balance and be impressed. Thus, you get a phone call the next day.”