Category: Funny

When the $230,000,000 satellite that you’re building falls over and looks like this. More pictures and full story here.

You can use it to subdue troublesome airline passengers on a really long flight.

You can sell the useless crap you find afterwards on eBay.

Gregg is was a Dungeons and Dragons geek, and he let me in on a little secret: What D&D dorks talk about when they play. Actually, it’s just a redone version of Summoner Geeks, but it’s done in fully 8-bit NES Final Fantasy style, and very entertaining.

I bit the bullet and added ClubRum to the list of mailing lists that I’m a paying supporter (currently, the Langa List is the other). The daily ClubRum mailings are a riot, and I’ll certainly be renewing. Especially when these good ones come across the list:

I sure got a lot of strange looks, carrying a dead zebra, a rotting antelope and a suitcase full of rancid prairie dogs. That’s the last time I try to board an airplane with more than two carrion items.

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I can think of no better reason to treat my fellow human beings with kindness than that the human condition is already fraught with so much suffering and injustice. I sure as hell hope someone else can think of a better one, though, or I’m gonna kick myself for being such a wimpy-ass do-gooder.

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I wish I had a dollar for every time I’ve woken up naked and hung over next to a monkey. Then I’d have a dollar *and* one helluva story to tell the grandkids.

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(and from their filthy list)

I had a dream that Britney Spears rubbed her breasts in my face and Jennifer Lopez gave me head while Salma Hayek sucked my toes and the Olsen twins videotaped everything. I would have kept dreaming it, too, if I hadn’t set off the smoke detector.

Fun stuff, and for $12/year, it’s a steal.

But Chris has his claim on the largest, based on the spam he’s received in the last 15 minutes. From his funny post:

If I respond to every unsolicited offer I’ve received in the past fifteen minutes, I could have: (1) a penis that stretches from here to the middle of Nebraska, which will remain unwaveringly rigid for 218.3 years; (2) sex with 21 women, but only if I respond today; (3) a breast size that could fit the three moons of Jupiter inside; (4) a Pacific ocean’s worth of printer ink; and (5) enough wealth to enable the entire citizenry of California to retire tomorrow.

I’d honestly like somebody to do the math, as I don’t think Pirillo is too far off with his estimates.

I use the SpamBayes Outlook Addin and it seems to do just fine with my 300 or so spam I get on a daily basis (though I have a bunch of server-based filters that kill a bunch before it even gets to my inbox, so I’m sure I’d have 500+ without those).

You may have heard that the RIAA is considering offering amnesty to music downloaders to avoid prosecution (but since the RIAA doesn’t represent every record label, they could just be getting your information and selling it to other record labels so they can so you). I’ve got a better idea. Just fill out this form and send it to them. I’m sure they’ll leave you alone then. Really.

Jack Bogdanski probably has the right idea.

You click and decide (I just saw this on Yahoo!’s site):

(Hint: Look at the Lead Photo).