Category: Funny

One of these pictures just doesn’t belong.

We just had an owner of one of our homes swing by our office. He was looking at his home’s bookings, and noticed there was somebody in there with the last name “Bush.” Says to us “That wasn’t one of George Bush’s folks from when they were in Sunriver, was it? Because if it was, I want to have my home’s description edited to say “No Pets, No Smoking, and No Republican Presidents.” We told him that it was a lady from Canada, not the Bush family, and he says “Well, Canadians are OK, but no Rebublicans”.

This just came across the ClubRum mailing list:

If a company’s most valuable resource is its people, how come the employees aren’t locked up, but the toilet paper is in a reinforced steel box with a lock, bolted to the stall?

Best. Billboard. Ever. I just love the comment on that link:

That kid did become an engineer but got laid off last year and now hangs out around the Empire State Building looking for another dot com gig. He keeps mumbling something about being a virgin…

Quoting the story:

:During an interview broadcast today on NPR’s Fresh Air, Simpsons creator Matt Groening revealed that the Fox News Network had threatened to sue The Simpsons over a parody of the right-leaning news channel.

The audio interview is posted here.

Check out this easy to follow comparison chart for reference on the new features in MS Office 2003 compared to past versions.

Just got this sent from a friend of mine (Update: OK apparently my friend is on the same mailing lists I’m on, as this was published in the LangaList, I just hadn’t gotten to that in my inbox yet). It was written for the mid-west, but could very well be applicable to Central/Eastern Oregon as well:

1. That farm boy standing next to the feed bin did more work before breakfast than you do all week at the gym.

2. It’s called a ‘gravel road’. No matter how slow you drive, you’re going to get dust on your SUV. I have a four-wheel drive because I need it. Drive it or get it out of the way.

3. We all started hunting and fishing when we were seven years old. Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it.

4. Any references to “corn fed” when talking about our women will get you whipped… by our women.

5. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod. Don’t cry to us if a flathead catfish breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for those little trout you fish for…bait.

6. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.

7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making approach, we will shoot it. You might hope you don’t have it up to your ear at the time.

8. That’s right. Whiskey is only two bucks. We can buy a fifth for what you paid in the airport for one drink.

9. No, there’s no “Vegetarian Special” on the menu. Order a steak. Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef’s Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey.

10. You can bring Coke into my house but it better be brown, wet, and served over ice.

11. So you have a sixty-thousand dollar car you drive on weekends. We’re real impressed. We have quarter of a million dollar combines that we use two weeks a year.

12. Let’s get this straight. We have one stoplight in town. We stop when it’s red. We may even stop when it’s yellow.

13. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks – because they want to. So, you’re a feminist. Isn’t that cute.

14. Yeah, we eat catfish. Carp, too – and turtle. You really want sushi and caviar? It’s available at the bait shop.

15. They are pigs. That’s what they smell like. Get over it. Don’t like it? Interstate 70, 80 & 90 go two ways. Interstate 29, 35, & 75 go the other two. Pick one and use it accordingly.

16. The “Opener” refers to the first day of deer season. It’s a religious holiday. You can get breakfast at the church.

17. So every person in every pickup waves. It’s called being friendly. Understand the concept?

18. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don’t hit the ball into the water hazard. It spooks the fish.

19. That Highway Patrol Officer that just pulled you over for driving like an idiot, his name is, “Sir”… no matter how old he is.

Now, enjoy your visit and go home.

I’ll just do what this lady did, and chuck the TV out the window. She was quoted as saying “There was nothing decent on so I just threw the thing out the window.” She later mellowed out and watched TV with her kids.

This and other headline anagrams from Davezilla. Don’t forget that the comments on that site are always funny, too.

Neil had a random brain fart: “While waiting for one of the lab machines to boot to XP Pro, a thought came into my head: if this is what XP Professional is like, what would XP Unprofessional be like?”

I think they already did a XP Unpro — it was called Window ME.