Folks like PETA are always freaking out about what we do to animals. There’s always sombody complaining about how we’ve killed off rare animals all over the place. But what if the rare animals are killing each other? Then what do we do? Thanks to Barney for the link.
Category: Funny
Who says men can’t multi-task?
This video proves it (apologies for the Windows Media file) — men are very resourceful multi-taskers. Thanks to Shasta Bob for the link.
Update on 2/28/05: Welcome BluesNews.com readers. Apparently this video I posted LONG ago was linked as the “Media of the Day” over there. Needless to say, the traffic is beating the hell out of my already underpowered server. I’m looking for a mirror to host this video on (it’s 800KB) if anybody’s willing (e-mail me at jake [at] [this site’s domain]. Meanwhile, at least click on a Google ad or two so I can get this server upgraded at some point (or click on the donate link on the left side). Feel free to enjoy the rest of the site while you’re here as well.
Getting annoyed with comment spam?
Just do what Joseph Duemer did and bill your spammer. Thanks to Chris for the link.
Leave it to an Oregonian to create Tomacco
Only somebody from Lake Oswego would try something like this [ducking to avoid the onslaught of crap thrown at me from Valley-based blogs]
Rob Baur of Lake Oswego, Oregon, dreamed of bringing to life his favorite The Simpsons episode, one from 1999 in which Homer grows “tomacco,” a combination tomato-tobacco plant. Even though it tastes foul and has a brown, gooey center, the entire town becomes addicted to the fruit after one bite, and Homer gets rich.
Baur grafted a tomato plant onto tobacco roots, and voil?, he had a real, live tomacco plant. The two plants can successfully become one because they come from the same plant family, which also includes eggplant and the deadly nightshade. The tomacco even bore fruit, although Baur said he believes it’s poisonous because it likely contains a lethal amount of nicotine.
If you’ve never seen the episode referred to, you live in a hole ;-). Otherwise, check out this full run down from the Simpson’s Archive.
Monkey Boy Ballmer does the iPod
Many moons ago, a video was circulating the Web, showing Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer dancing around like a monkey, chanting “Developers” over, and over, and over. Then somebody put it to music, making a pretty damn funny techno video (see here for mirrors to both files). You have no doubt seen the new iPod commercials with their flashy dancing and animations. MacBoy newest, greatest animation has been posted: Monkey Boy’s iPod. Jake Note: Unfortunately, the site is down as of right now (I saw it a couple days ago) so if anybody has the *.SWF in their cache that I can mirror here, let me know. But find it somewhere, as it’s a really funny animation, especially if you’ve seen the original. Update Again: Site appears to be back up and running.
Looking to change religions?
Try Plug and Pray! There’s never been an easier way to convert!
How to find inner peace
I am passing this on to you because it has definitely worked for me. By following the simple advice I read in an article, I have finally found inner peace. It reads: “The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you’ve started.”. I looked around to see all the things I started and hadn’t finished. So, today I have finished one bottle of white wine, a bottle of red wine, a bottle of Baileys, my Prozac, a large box of chocolates and a quart of beer. You have no idea how good I feel. You may pass this on to those you feel are in need of Inner Peace.
(got via an e-mail forward)
Sexual predator gets beaten senseless by Catholic school girls
This has to be one of the funniest stories I’ve heard in a long while:
A man described by authorities as a known sexual predator was chased through the streets of South Philadelphia by an angry crowd of Catholic high school girls, who kicked and punched him after he was tackled by neighbors, police said Friday.
[…]
“The girls came and started kicking him and punching him, so I wasn’t going to stop them,” neighbor Robert Lemons told The Philadelphia Inquirer.
Those damn copy editors
Joke that was just sent my way (and only folks who have worked in newsrooms will really appreciate this):
A reporter dies and goes to journalist heaven, where St. Peter issues him a harp and a set of moderate-sized wings. “These seem kind of small,” the reporter complains. “Well,” says St. Peter, “Wing size here is determined by how much abuse you suffered in your earthly life. See that guy with the butterfly-sized wings? He was a publisher. And the person with condor-sized wings? She was a night city editor.”
Just then a squadron of F-16s roars overhead, forcing the two to hit the dirt.
St. Peter stands up, dusts himself off and mutters: “Damn copy editors.”