(Witty Headline About A Man With Two Penises Would Go Here)

I’m at a total loss (I’m stupidly tired) for a sarcastic headline for this oddball news.

NEW DELHI: It is a problem of plenty. But definitely not a happy one. Sanjay (name changed), a small-time businessman from a UP town was recently admitted to a private hospital in the city with a unique problem – he has two fully functional male organs, a condition medically known as penile duplication or diphallus.

[…]

Says a doctor in the hospital, “It is an extremely rare condition. More so because two fully functional penes is unheard of in even medical literature. In the more common form of diphallus, one organ is rudimentary.”

So one it not there just for show: This guy has two totally functional organs.

So while size may not matter, does quantity?

Headlines submissions are welcome. Comment below.