He couldn’t find a bathroom, so Oregon’s Kellen Clemens pinched it — for the entire game.
But the Ducks quarterback was on the football field, in the middle of a game, and he’s a polite, well-mannered guy, and there was no portable restroom around. And, anyway, the only tree in the area was the Stanford mascot. And it never stays still for very long.
So Clemens just held it for all of the second half.
He held it in the rain, while he threw passes to Demetrius Williams. He held it as he handed the ball to Terrence Whitehead. He held it as Stanford lined up for a 49-yard field goal attempt, down by three points, with one second remaining.
On a scale of 1 to 10, how bad did Clemens have to go?
“Eleven,” he said.
He made it through the game, won, and during the after-game celebration for their 16-13 win, couldn’t hold it anymore and bolted towards the locker room.
Personally, I would’ve just peed on the Stanford Tree.