Link via Fark. Full story at this Chicago Tribune article (free registration required, so I’ll sum it up below). But here’s the story: A jewel thief walked into a jewelry store, and asked to see some expensive jewels. He picked one up and then started coughing and covered his mouth to cough. Then he returned the diamond. But it wasn’t the same diamond. It was a piece of junk. He had swallowed the expensive one. And the jeweler started screaming. They held him until the Chicago PD got there. But it was already internal.
Here’s the problem: They’ve got a suspect with a large 3-carat diamond worth $40,000 in him, but, according to the article, he can’t be charged until that diamond is recovered. It hasn’t moved through his digestive system completely, and doctors told police to not give him any laxatives as it could shoot the thing through there and cut up his intestines (where it’s currently lodged, according to X-rays).
But doctors said they could feed him.
So what do they do? They ordered some greasy White Castle sliders that should move the thing through. And they have appointed an officer to feed them to him.
That would be a crappy job.