From Ruminate.com:
The best thing about going the wrong way on a one-way street? Hey, no stop signs!
My wife is crazy with forgetfulness. I found about a dozen condoms in her suitcase, so she even forgot that I’m not coming on this trip! What a not-remembering nut she is!
I’m surprised no one has come up with a blow-up sex doll that doubles as a wading pool for the kids. That would be perfect for those of us who can’t afford both.
No amount of talent or success with women can alter the following simple fact of life: In grade school, any kid with a name as goofy as “Leonardo DiCaprio” should plan on getting beaten up a lot.
Take it from me: Of all the responses to a compliment by your partner after sex, one of the worst might be “Must be the Puppy Chow.”