UtterlyBoring.com

Just Because We Know The Rules of The Road…

Whether your own asphalt experiences lend it credence or not, Oregon drivers remain the most knowledgeable about the rules of the road, according to the second annual GMAC Insurance National Drivers Test, released as the big summer travel season begins.
Oregon held the top spot for the second straight year in the survey, with an average score of 91 percent on the 20-question test of licensed drivers, similar to the typical DMV written drivers test, the company reported Friday. It takes a 70 percent score or higher to pass the test; Washington came in at No. 2, while Rhode Island ranked lowest this year, but still passed, with an average score of 75 percent.

Take those results with a grain of salt, however. Last year, California drivers were ranked 43, and this year they were 14, according to the rankings, and we all know how those guys drive <ducking to avoid objects thrown at me>. I got 100% on the test, how’d you score (so I know who to avoid on the road)?

Thanks Barney for the tip.

May 28, 2006

Who Needs Gas?

We’ll just run our cars on water…

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May 28, 2006

A Question That Has Stumped Scientists For Ages Has Finally Been Answered

The egg came before the chicken.

May 28, 2006

Free File Hosting And Sharing

Wikiupload looks like an interesting service (though I can foresee piracy and copyright violations running rampant through it):

WikiUpload’s goal is to build the largest library of open-content video clips, music and media files, and shareware in the world. To accomplish this goal, WikiUpload needs your help! We encourage all visitors to share their free resources.
Unlike other libraries, there are no geographic or financial barriers to accessing this information. Everything on this site is free! This will help everyone benefit from each other’s contribution in a digitally democratic format. We will rank files based on their popularity to showcase the most useful contributions.
The growth of this website will be dependent on volunteers. We will need your help in contributing files and reporting files that violate our terms of service.
In the beginning, after uploading your file we will keep it forever as long as it is accessed at least once by anyone in 30 days. As the site grows and resources are added we will be able to allow bigger file sizes than 5GB and longer time periods of 30 days, 45 days and so on. Please, help us fulfill this mission!

Thanks Jo-Anne for the link.

May 28, 2006

I Know That George W. And Tony Blair Were Buddies…

…but this is a bit scary. Thanks Barney for the tip.

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May 28, 2006

Office Policies

I don’t often get e-mails from my boss that don’t ask me to do some work or aren’t serious tone, so it took me a minute on this one….

Dress Code:

It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary.

If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well and therefore do not need a raise.

If you dress poorly you need to learn to manage your money better so that you may buy nicer clothes. Therefore, you do not need a raise.

If you dress just right you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

Sick Days:

We will no longer accept a doctor’s statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Personal Days:

Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Normal days off.

Toilet Use:

Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the “Chronic Offenders” category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company’s mental health policy.

We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation or input should be directed elsewhere.

Thank you for your loyalty to the company.

May 28, 2006