Category: Funny

We had a potential renter call the office here in Sunriver, asking about our vacation homes. After one of our reservations folks had been talking to her for about 10 minutes or so, the conversation went a bit … uh … south. I’m paraphrasing, but I guess it went something like this…

Lady: Now I’m looking to take my dog on walks, is there places to do that?

Reservations: Oh yes, we have 30+ miles of paved bike paths here.

L: What if I want to take my dog through the sequoias?

R: The what?

L: Sequoia National Park is close by, right?

R: You realize Sunriver is in Central Oregon, right?

L: Yes.

R: [dumbfounded]

L: I mean, if it’s a short drive, that’s no problem.

R: Ma’am, the nearest National Park is Crater Lake. Sequoia National Park is in California.

L: Oh no, it’s up by Sunriver, I’m reading it right here on Google. Let me go talk to my husband, and we’ll call you back.

Sure lady, it’s a short drive — if you don’t mind sitting on your butt for 11 hours. Needless to say, I couldn’t find anything for Sequoia and/or Sunriver on Google, so I don’t know what the lady was reading.

She never called back.

…do you look like this guy while doing it? I doubt it.

Osama’s penile implant is stuck in the “on” position.

Snapshots obtained by CIA operatives in Afghanistan show the terror kingpin looking sheepishly at a camera while covering his naughty bits with crossed hands, which the CIA source insists “is all for show because it’s a known fact that Osama has a teeny weenie and could have shielded himself with a pinkie.”

The source went on to note that Osama “is severely diabetic. According to our best intelligence, he got the implant in Saudi Arabia in November of 1999 to compensate for circulation problems that left him impotent at the height of his sizzling and well-publicized gay affair with Iraqi strongman Saddam Hussein.”

I’d never actually read Savage Love before, but it’s actually quite entertaining, and he gets some odd-ball letters. This one (and the response, both taken from here, bottom of the page) is absolutely priceless (if not a bit foul mouthed). Read on (oh, and thanks Barn for the link)…

(more…)

If you’re going to sell items on eBay, and are going to copy reviews of said items from Amazon.com, make sure that you don’t copy the really bad reviews of your item. See exhibits A, B, and C. Of course, they were all Bruce Willis movies, and they’re probably hard to find a good review for. Link via NTK.

Simone lives on the Little Deschutes River down by LaPine, and has squirrels that get into her birdseed. I say she sets up one of these things on her back deck, and learn them little rodents good. Looks like it’s a manual release (you can see the guy pulling it behind the door), but it’s still quite affective. Thanks Doug for the video. If anybody has the source, let me know so I can cite it.

Microsoft has finally debuted their long-awaited search engine and their already taking cheap shots at Google (with Microsoft still at #4).

Meanwhile, Google has 8-billion pages now in its index.

The Florida Times-Union’s election day front page included a toll-free number to a non-partisan organization tracking the election. The number was wrong, though, and sent callers to a sex talk service. Full story. Link via Romensko.

I think this pretty much sums up how the country was divided this election season (yes, it’s an Onion link, so it’s supposed to be funny and offend everybody). North America could be similarly divided this way. Thanks Barney and Aaron for the image links.

I didn’t hear Dan Rather say this myself (didn’t watch CBS), but Barney, who had a busy night himself, sent it my way: “George Bush is sweeping through the south like a big wheel through a Delta cotton field.”