Category: Funny

This South Park-esque cartoon of Scoble taking a visit to Google is frickin’ hilarious. Of course, I’m a geek, so that’s why I find it funny, but you probably will, too.

Yes, we all know (or maybe some of us know) that the Blue Screen of Death is going to become Red in the next version of Windows, but I think the idea of replacing the BSOD with Solitaire of Death would be much more entertaining.

Now if Google ever releases and OS, I think it should carry ads on its crash screen.

What’s your bulls**t job title?

…you’ll appreciate this funny one (thanks Emily for this).

I must add my thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat crap in the glue on envelopes cause I now have to get a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing.

Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I want to thank you who have taken the time and trouble to send me your chain letters over the past 12 months. Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put “Under God” on their cans.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don’t support our American troops or the Salvation Army.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer have any sneakers — but that will change once I receive my free replacement pair from Nike.

I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me and St. Theresa’s novena has granted my every wish.

Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time).

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.

Yes, I want to thank you so much for looking out for me that I will now return the favor!

If you don’t send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM(EDT) this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor’s ex-mother-in-law’s second husband’s cousin’s beautician. Have a wonderful day!

Roger Ebert tears “Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo” to shreds. Zero stars and “Mr. Schneider, your movie sucks.” is always a part of any great review.

I, personally, can’t believe all the hoopla over a mouse that Apple should’ve had years ago. Regardless, Paul thinks the mouse could’ve been better, so he decided to let Apple know thinking that a single-fist or single-forehead design might have been more appropriate.

Regarding men…

“All they are is sperm donors, and most women aren’t going to want an unemployable sperm donor loafing around and making the house look untidy.”

Thanks Cheryl for that.

I can picture milk becomming the most popular drink in Russia because of this.

MOSCOW – Russia’s long winter will just fly by for a herd of Russian cows which, a newspaper reported on Tuesday, will be fed confiscated marijuana over the cold months.

Drug workers said they adopted the unusual form of animal husbandry after they were forced to destroy the sunflowers and maize crops that the 40 ton of marijuana had been planted among, Novye Izvestia daily reported.

Thanks Cheryl for the link.

Integrated Internet Solitaire.