Category: Funny

(Been sitting on this link for a while, just haven’t had a chance to post it, so ignore the fact that everybody and their dog has probably already posted it). News 14 Carolina should have known better. They made the mistake of using an automated system for that posted school and business closure information across the bottom of the screen. Thanks to some pranksters on the WolfWeb board, hilarious information started to appear across the bottom of the screen. Some of the closures: “Tutone Inc., Closed Thursday and Friday, Call Jenni at 867-5309”, “Cecil’s Cockring emporium, Back up Tomorrow”, “Bring ’em Young Daycare, Closed Friday, Contact R. Kelly for details” and “Windows 32 Exception Error, if this is the first time you’re seeing this, please reinstall Windows.”

There are a few sites with screen-shots of the mess here, here, and here. Full story on the mess here and here.

But really, when they let things run unmoderated, they get what they deserve.

This guys’s a police chief. He’s trying to convince his city to create medical marijuana guidelines. His name is Kenneth Thrailkill. His last name is pronounced “Thrill Kill”. Tip via Barney.

Another brilliant commentary from Barney:

Same-sex marriage? That’s so 2001. Okay, 2002.

I want to promote same-person marriage.

That’s right. I want to marry MYSELF. Me, myself and I — my goodness, it’s almost a menage a trois!

I love me, as all good, right-thinking people should. I’m my best friend. I’ve known me all my life, sometimes, ahem, in that personal way people only really get to know themselves.

I try to take good care of myself. (Not always succeeding, but I do try). And I forgive myself when I don’t. I try to be honest with myself, because I deserve it.

When I look in the mirror, I see a right handsome dude. Others can’t see in me what I see in myself. We have a special bond, and even look fondly on “Me and My Shadow,” especially when we’re strolling down the avenue. Like SNL’s Stuart Smalley said, “I’m Good Enough, I’m Smart Enough and Doggone It, People Like Me” — so why shouldn’t I pay myself the ultimate compliment, and marry me? (If I’m good enough for myself, that is.)

So I think I’ll head to the county clerk’s office. If two people of the same sex can legally marry, why can’t I marry myself? I want to hear the preacher say, “I now pronounce you … you.”

Haven’t you ever just loved something you did, said or … performed, enough to say, “Boy, I sure love me right now!” Why not be able to profess that love to the whole world?

Now, isn’t that special? (No, not a ‘special right’ – a special ME!;-)

And it’s for a Baptist Church, of all things. Link via Davezilla, who also links to a pile of other great ones, like Speedo Fart.

…there’s a good chance your computer isn’t the problem.” It couldn’t possibly be the really-damn old version of Windows the old folks are running. Link via NTK.

I’m starting to believe that the folks on Mars aren’t enjoying us being there:

Thanks to Barney for the pic.

“I’d like a large Coke, no onions.”

A possible side affect of Cialis, another Viagra-like pill for men who can’t get it up, could “experience an erection for more than 4 hours.” Yikes! I can only imagine how that’d affect a normal day. Thanks Barney for the tip — why he knew this I don’t know, but he claims to have seen it on TV.