Category: Funny

Not only is smoking bad for your health, but it can cause nasty toilet explosions that could sting a bit. Thanks Barn for the tip.

If I was to be considered a terrorist, I want to be because I hugged a bunch of people.

In all your bad days, you’ve had nothing like this guy, who not only shot himself in the testicles, but managed to get himself five years in prison for possession of an illegal firearm. Full story.

And he’s got the (poor quality) pictures to prove it. Link via everywhere, but I saw it first here.

From b3ta:

Regular readers will know we’ve recently been running URL redirects, i.e. taking an address like fuckingnazis.com and forwarding to the Barclays bank website. B3ta reader Tony has hit on a novel variation. He’s registered cuntoftheweek.co.uk and plans to point it to different people every seven days.

That site’s been added to my “check every seven days” folder, just to see who he points it to.

We just had one of our renters call the office. The extent of the conversation went like this:

Guest: I think there’s a problem with the phone here, I think it’s disconnected.

Us: Are you calling us from the phone?

Guest: Yes.

Us: Then how can it be disconnected?

Guest Pauses: Well, what’s the number for this unit?

Us: We have it as xxx-xxxx

Guest: That’s what is says on the phone here.

Us, thinking to ourselves: Imagine that.

Guest: I tried calling it with my cell phone, and it didn’t ring. Can you try calling the number from your office?

Us: Sure!

Everybody hangs up. We call back, he answers.

Imagine that. It works.

People is dumb.

I know it’s fake, but it’s still really funny. Quoting the only entry on the site:

In the past days, we had overwhelming success with our Windows XP Service Pack 2 and Windows Server 2003 marketing strategy by compromising old IIS Systems to infiltrate even fully patched Clients running Internet Explorer.

Kerry picks Gephardt?!? I don’t think so. Reminds of the (in)famous “Dewey Defeats Truman” headline.

Besides, we all know that if you’re going to dig around the Web to find a leak on who John Kerry was going to pick for his Veep, you know that leak will show up on an aviation message board. Where else would it be?

Update on 7/7: They ran a front page correction. At least they have a sense of humor about it.

One of the longest parenthetical phrases in history. From Marlon Brando’s LA Times obituary (reg required):

Marlon Brando, a two-time Academy Award winner who spent much of his career shunning the Hollywood establishment yet earned its enduring admiration through muscular, naturalistic performances that transformed the craft of acting and led peers and critics alike to hail him as the finest actor of his time, has died. He was 80.

You think that could’ve been written a little bit better? Thanks Barney for the tip.