Are My Neighbors Reading This?

I certainly wish my neighbors were reading this.

I must warn you now that I’m going to get a little “cranky ol’ man/dad/bastard” on you, here.

There are some folks that moved into the rental home across the street from us. They’ve lived there for about four months now, and have been nothing but a pain to us. It’s a couple in their late 20s, maybe early 30s, with 5 and 7 year old boys.

Normally, this wouldn’t be a problem, but I don’t even know where to begin with these guys. I guess I’ll start with the kids.

At a little after 8 AM, the kids are in their front yard, running around. That’s not that early of an hour, I just mention it because they’re out there from then until about 8 PM that night. Usually they’re out there in just a pair of shorts — no shirts, many times no shoes, and certainly no sunscreen. And they’ll be out there all day, and they’ll have absolutely no parental supervision. The mom is inside all day long, and I really don’t know what the dad does for a living (more on the parents later).

The problem isn’t that they’re out playing, it’s what they’re doing while they’re out there. Just an example of what’s been going on recently:

• Climbing on trees — the neighbor’s newly planted trees. So these are trees that are barely bigger than them, and they’re pretty much destroying them.
• Riding their bikes up and down the streets — with no helmets, no shoes, and no shirts. More often than not, their riding through other people’s front yards and driveways and up and down the middle of the street (and we get a good chunk of thru-traffic). Remember that’s it’s state law that they have their helmet’s on.
• Riding mini-motorcycles that go at least 25 MPH up and down the sidewalks and in the street. There are also laws about that, too. They occasionally wear their helmets, but not too often. And they’re not even remotely old enough. On more than occasion, I’ve seen the kids eat it and run into other cars.
• On the Fourth of July, they were lighting off fireworks — the explosive kind that you can’t even remotely buy in Oregon. Remember, these kids are 5 and 7 years old. Parents out there know this is far too young to be lighting up those fireworks — and there weren’t even parents watching them do it.
• They frequently mess with our mail box, and generally like to do it when we’ve put our mortgage check or something huge in the mail.

They do this all day, as well as being loud and obnoxious whenever they possibly can.

But I don’t blame them, I blame their parents.

The chain-smoking mom doesn’t watch them at all during the day during their wonton destructions. The dad, when he’s home, is either participating in the annoying activities, or he’s working on his equally obnoxious (and apparently muffler-free) hot rod, which he insists on reving up as loud as he can so everybody within a 50-block radius can hear him. So, really, it’s their fault their kids are like this — they don’t know any better.

OK, I’m done now.

Update on 7/15: OK, maybe I’m not done. My wife went out to the mailbox this afternoon to find a “He-Man” coloring in our mail box. Since I doubt my daughters are into He-Man, I’m willing to bet those kids did it. Wish me luck as I go chat with them later tonight.