All we have to do is get Muslim men laid. I have to say that this is one of the funniest articles I’ve read in a long time, from one of the funniest comics (if you don’t have a Salon subscription, you’ll have to watch an ad for a second or two). Thanks to Barney for the link.
Month: March 2004
Couple Good Headlines
Barney sends these headlines:
From the BBC: Suicide attack kills one
(doesn’t suicide always kill one?)
From some newspaper’s site: Asteroid Nearly Misses Earth
(if it “nearly misses” wouldn’t we all be dead?)
OK, maybe you have to be a grammarian to appreciate these, but oh well.
What a horrible last name
If my last name was Pecker, I would make damn sure it never appeared in a headline like this.
“Who cares what you think?”
That’s how Bush responded when told by someone back in 2001 that he wasn’t impressed with his work so far. A good read (that’ll you’ll have to get the Salon Day Pass to read).
Dishwasher: Free To Good Home
I’ve got a Kenmore dishwasher sitting in my utility room. It works fine and cleans just dandy, but the springs on the door are broke, so the door weighs 20+ pounds (it still shuts and locks fine). If you don’t have kids, it’ll be fine, but we just needed something else because we have infants and toddlers who are liable to get smashed by it.
It’s yours if you want it. Just get ahold of me via e-mail or phone (385-3084), or come by and get it.
Arrogant Bastard
Thanks to Barney for the joke…
Two boys in Boston were playing basketball when one of them was attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy ripped board off a near by fence, wedged it into the dog’s collar and twisted it, breaking the dog’s neck.
A newspaper reporter from the Boston Herald witnessed the incident and rushed over to interview the boy. The reporter began entering data into his laptop,beginning with the headline: “Brave Young Celtics Fan Saves Friend From Jaws Of Vicious Animal.”
“But I’m not a Celtics fan, “the little hero interjected.
“Sorry,” replied the reporter. “But since we’re in Boston, Mass, I just assumed you were.”
Hitting the delete key, the reporter began “John Kerry Fan rescues Friend From Horrific Dog Attack.”
“But I’m not a Kerry fan either,” the boy responds.
The reporter says, “I assumed everybody in this state was either for the Celtics or Kerry or Kennedy. “What team or person do you like? ”
“I’m a Houston Rockets fan and I really like George W. Bush” the boy says. Hitting the delete key, the reporter begins again,
“Arrogant Little Conservative Bastard Kills Beloved Family Pet.”
Still at Work
I’m here at work — still. I’m taking a break from crawling around on my hands and knees to rewire our network closet upstairs for a new 48 port switch (I’ve got a 12 and 16 port for sale if anybody wants it). So far, everything’s working good, I just need to clean up the wire mess know (though it is much more organized than it was before).
Should be no more than an hour left, and I can scratch one more project off the list at work. Now I just need to finish building my new Windows 2000 Citrix Server (the old one’s going to become my Small Business Server 2003 box), and I need to get Windows 2003 Enterprise onto our domain controller (2003 Web Edition is already running on my IIS box). After all that’s all done, NT 4.0 will be LONG gone off our network — thank goodness.
Carb-free diets make you bitchy
That would explain the crankiness of some co-workers. Full story. Link via BB.
Newly Discovered Planet Hurt by Wal Mart Addition
Scientists have discovered a new planet out past Pluto, and have named it Sedna. But apparently somebody’s already discovered it, as there is already a Wal-Mart on it.
You’ve got 30 Minutes to Make Your Picks
If you want to get your Yahoo! NCAA Pick ’em picks in, you’ve got 30 minutes to do so. And if you sign up, feel free to join my group. Group ID: “92718”. Password: “ub”, and we can see who’s good at randomly guessing and pretending to know what they’re doing (I know it’s probably not me).
Update: Too late to get the pick ’ems in, but if you’ve already done it, feel free to join my group and see who gets bragging rights :-).