Month: June 2003

…That’s why I had to execute my cat.

(thanks Ruminate.com)

Create your own random Anarchists Cookbook. It’s a farce, and none of the stuff actually works, but it’s a funny read if you keep reloading it. Like this gem that just popped up:

Land mine

• Fill a container with toenail clippings
• Connect a trigger wire to a vial of bananadine chromate, and embed this in the container.
• When the victim trips on the wire, the mine will go off and he will suffer either hallucinations or sudden death!
• This can also blow a bicycle into 291 pieces. Historical note: this was first used in 1912.

This is going to piss some women off…

Fresh from her shower, a woman stands in front of the mirror, complaining to her husband that her breasts are too small.

Instead of characteristically telling her it’s not so, her husband uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.

“If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds.”

Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts.

“How long will this take?” she asks..

“They will grow larger over a period of years,” he replies.

The wife stops. “Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?” Without missing a beat the husband says, “Worked for your butt, didn’t it?”

From Obscure Store: Police say Richard Gambardella, 65, and Peter McKasty, 7, each held their own against David Thompson, 23, who stands 6-feet tall and weighs more than 200 pounds. He’s been charged with multiple crimes, including robbery. Full Story.

Sure, what the hell. I’d vote for him.