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UtterlyBoring.com is produced by Jake Ortman (e-mail, resume), a 31-year-old dad, percussionist, freelance Web designer, IT consultant and jack-of-all-trades computer geek, living in Bend, Oregon. He created this so that his expensive journalism and technology degree isn't getting totally wasted. In addition to editing this site in his free time, he is the IT Director and Ad Designer at both Sunray and Discover Sunriver. He has LinkedIn and Facebook profiles if you're trying to stalk him. He will not be posting on Twitter.
Opinions and comments on this site are the opinions of the author, not the author's employer, family, friends or pets.
This site is powered by Movable Type and is hosted by orty.com. Since December 1st, 2002, there have been 5828 entries. Visitors to this blog have posted 19389 comments.
If you're reading this, you have too much time on your hands. |
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Laws of Parenting
Anybody who has kids will appreciate this (thanks Susan for this):
1. The later you stay up, the earlier your child will wake up the next morning.
2. For a child to become clean, something else must become dirty.
3. Toys multiply to fill any space available.
4. The longer it takes you to make a meal, the less your child will like it.
5. If the shoe fits, it's expensive.
6. The surest way to get something done is to tell a child not to do it.
7. The gooier the food, the more likely it is to end up on the carpet.
8. Backing the car out of the driveway causes your child to have to go to the bathroom.
Any others from parents out there?
8 Comments
Nex said on 03/29/05 @ 04:08 PM: 9. Your child will reply "Why?" to anything you say, even if it's a yes or no question.
Mom too. said on 03/30/05 @ 07:17 PM: 10. The more in a hurry you are, the longer is gonna take you to get your child ready.
Wyrd said on 03/30/05 @ 10:02 PM: 11. The Primary Parent will only get sick when every kid in the house needs critical care.
the beloved daughter (the eldest child) said on 04/09/05 @ 02:22 PM: 12) If you have one kid, stick with them, they don't like being hassled by younger brothers and sisters, and it would probably do the parent well as it would mean that they have less arguments and less fights. If the child get lonely, buy them a puppy, i recommend something vicious.
Old_dad said on 01/26/07 @ 05:12 AM: Only one kid is not yet parenting.
If something is broken and you know who did it you are not yet there!!
beta mum said on 06/14/07 @ 02:39 PM: If I say it's chilly, my son will say "I'm hot."
If I buy multiple boxes of their favourite cereal when I find it on offer, it will - overnight - become their least favourite cereal.
December said on 04/13/09 @ 04:46 PM: No matter what, If you are upset with your child, they will suddenly become the cutest thing in the entire world.
mummyl said on 08/27/09 @ 10:00 AM: 13. If your child says a swear word, no matter how much you try you'll still kill yourself laughing!
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