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UtterlyBoring.com is produced by Jake Ortman (e-mail, resume), a 30-year-old dad, percussionist, freelance Web designer, consultant and jack-of-all-trades computer geek, living in Bend, Oregon. He created this so that his expensive journalism and technology degree isn't getting totally wasted. In addition to editing this site in his free time, he is the IT Director and Ad Designer at both Sunray and Discover Sunriver. He has LinkedIn, MySpace, Facebook profiles if you're trying to stalk him.
Opinions and comments on this site are the opinions of the author, not the author's employer, family, friends or pets. This site is powered by Movable Type and is hosted by orty.com. Internet connection provided by Bend BroadBand. Since December 1st, 2002, there have been 5257 entries. Visitors to this blog have posted 16488 comments. If you're reading this, you have too much time on your hands. |
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An Anti-Democrat JokeThis one's for Josh, another Bend blogger, to prove that I can laugh at both sides, because, really, all politicians are idiots... Once upon a time, long, long ago there was a Presidential election that was too close to call. Neither the Republican presidential candidate nor the Democratic presidential candidate had enough votes to win the election. Therefore, it was decided that there should be an ice fishing contest between the two candidates to determine the final winner. There was much talk about ballot recounting, court challenges, etc., but a week-long ice fishing competition seemed the (manly) way to settle things. The candidate who catches the most fish at the end of the week wins. After a lot of back and forth discussion, it was decided that the contest would take place on a remote and cold lake in Wisconsin. There were to be no observers present and both men were to be sent out separately on this remote lake and return daily with their catch for counting and verification. At the end of the first day, George W. returns to the headquarters and he has 10 fish. Soon, Kerry, who has answers to everything, but no plan, returns and has zero fish. Well, everyone assumes he is just having another bad hair day or something and hopefully, he will catch up the next day. At the end of the 2nd day George W. comes in with 20 fish and Kerry comes in again with none. That evening, Bill Clinton gets together secretly with Kerry and says, "I think George W. is a lowlife cheatin' son-of-a-gun. I want you to go out tomorrow and don't even bother with fishing. Just spy on him and see if he is cheating in any way. The next night (after George W. comes back with 50 fish), Clinton says to Kerry, "Well, what about it, is George W. cheatin?" "He sure is, Bill, he's cutting holes in the ice." Joke sent to me from Barn, who got it from a local politician whose name I won't mention until the election's over, just so I don't get in trouble. I didn't vote for him, but I didn't vote against him, either. Posted by Jake on 10/21/04 @ 03:42 PM
Posted in Funny | 9 Comments | Permalink Submit to digg, del.icio.us, reddit, or stumbleupon 9 CommentsAndy Baio said on 10/21/04 @ 05:11 PM:Not surprisingly, this joke has been retold in the past in many other variations, including with the Bush/Kerry roles reversed, using sports teams, racial targets, and so on. Aravis said on 10/21/04 @ 09:20 PM: Yes, I agree with Andy. I heard this joke 4 years ago, and it was Bush who thought Gore was cheating by cutting holes in the ice... Jesse Thompson said on 10/22/04 @ 12:25 AM: Why does this remind me of that German couple who was said to have been shocked when their fertility doctor informed them that in order to have children they needed to have sex? Josh said on 10/22/04 @ 11:36 AM: Nice. It's still funny even though it's been around. Jake said on 10/23/04 @ 08:11 PM: Oh yeah, it's been around for a long while, in tons of variations, but it's still funny :) Jake said on 04/27/05 @ 12:39 PM: this tells it all, the whole truth and nothing but the truth Apurva said on 07/18/06 @ 08:58 PM: sad, funny, AND true josh said on 02/21/07 @ 11:09 PM: dont know how the positions could be reveresed since bush won fools Down with Clinton said on 09/09/07 @ 05:41 PM: Here a "limerick" I made up, well not really, it doesn't have the right amount of stressed and unstressed syllables. Democrats outdo themselves once more, Look at Clinton he slept with a whore, They believe in abortion, Gay marriage, extortion, The internet invented by Gore. Post a comment |
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