From Barney again, headlines that were published in newspapers during 2003:
SOMETHING WENT WRONG IN JET CRASH, EXPERT SAYS – Good thing an expert was able to explain what an ordinary person could only suspect.
POLICE BEGIN CAMPAIGN TO RUN DOWN JAYWALKERS – Now that ought to put a stop to it!
IRAQI HEAD SEEKS ARMS
IS THERE A RING OF DEBRIS AROUND URANUS
PROSTITUTES APPEAL TO POPE
PANDA MATING FAILS; VETERINARIAN TAKES OVER
TEACHER STRIKES IDLE KIDS – I bet that will keep them busy!
MINERS REFUSE TO WORK AFTER DEATH – That’s the problem with unions – always finding some excuse to stop working.
JUVENILE COURT TO TRY SHOOTING DEFENDANT – Great idea! This must have happened in Texas. It sounds drastic, but I suspect it would be effective.
WAR DIMS HOPE FOR PEACE – But at least it didn’t extinguish it entirely.
IF STRIKE ISN’T SETTLED QUICKLY, IT MAY LAST AWHILE
COLD WAVE LINKED TO TEMPERATURES – There’s a connection? You HAVE to be kidding…
COUPLE SLAIN; POLICE SUSPECT HOMICIDE
RED TAPE HOLDS UP NEW BRIDGES – New technology, lighter weight but stronger materials – where will it end?
TYPHOON RIPS THROUGH CEMETERY; HUNDREDS DEAD
MAN STRUCK BY LIGHTNING FACES BATTERY CHARGE – Hope it works.
NEW STUDY OF OBESITY LOOKS FOR LARGER TEST GROUP
ASTRONAUT TAKES BLAME FOR GAS IN SPACECRAFT
KIDS MAKE NUTRITIOUS SNACKS – Hmmm, that little tidbit could come in handy….
CHEF THROWS HIS HEART INTO HELPING FEED NEEDY – Now THAT’S commitment.
LOCAL HIGH SCHOOL DROPOUTS CUT IN HALF – One or two of those and I bet the rest will stay in school!
HOSPITALS ARE SUED BY 7 FOOT DOCTORS – Oh my. I wonder how big their lawyers are?
Comments
I’m not sure about the veracity of your 2003 headlines, the one about the guy hit by lightning is an old joke I heard a long time ago. The names of the papers they were published in would help this seem more than an old Leno bit.
I do remember an actual headline in a British newspaper on the lines of “Baby heart operation tied up in red tape” but I can’t remember which paper it was.
Oh yeah… some of those really date back to 1994 or earlier… http://www.cs.rice.edu/~ian/Public/Humor/headlines
Hehe…OK, Barney’s banned from sending me anything “xxx of the year” 😉
Geez, who cares if they are true as long as they are funny? You guys want a date, newspaper, page number? Suck the fun outta stuff why dontcha?;-/
Exactly…have a sense of humor, folks.
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[Ed: This joke is from Jake Ortman at Utterly Boring. If you enjoyed this joke, please consider donating a few dollars to his medical fund….] Headlines of the Year Headlines that were published in newspapers during 2003: SOMETHING WENT WRONG IN JET C…