Utterly Boring dot com

Headlines of the Year

From Barney again, headlines that were published in newspapers during 2003:

SOMETHING WENT WRONG IN JET CRASH, EXPERT SAYS - Good thing an expert was able to explain what an ordinary person could only suspect.

POLICE BEGIN CAMPAIGN TO RUN DOWN JAYWALKERS - Now that ought to put a stop to it!

IRAQI HEAD SEEKS ARMS

IS THERE A RING OF DEBRIS AROUND URANUS

PROSTITUTES APPEAL TO POPE

PANDA MATING FAILS; VETERINARIAN TAKES OVER

TEACHER STRIKES IDLE KIDS - I bet that will keep them busy!

MINERS REFUSE TO WORK AFTER DEATH - That's the problem with unions - always finding some excuse to stop working.

JUVENILE COURT TO TRY SHOOTING DEFENDANT - Great idea! This must have happened in Texas. It sounds drastic, but I suspect it would be effective.

WAR DIMS HOPE FOR PEACE - But at least it didn't extinguish it entirely.

IF STRIKE ISN'T SETTLED QUICKLY, IT MAY LAST AWHILE

COLD WAVE LINKED TO TEMPERATURES - There's a connection? You HAVE to be kidding...

COUPLE SLAIN; POLICE SUSPECT HOMICIDE

RED TAPE HOLDS UP NEW BRIDGES - New technology, lighter weight but stronger materials - where will it end?

TYPHOON RIPS THROUGH CEMETERY; HUNDREDS DEAD

MAN STRUCK BY LIGHTNING FACES BATTERY CHARGE - Hope it works.

NEW STUDY OF OBESITY LOOKS FOR LARGER TEST GROUP

ASTRONAUT TAKES BLAME FOR GAS IN SPACECRAFT

KIDS MAKE NUTRITIOUS SNACKS - Hmmm, that little tidbit could come in handy....

CHEF THROWS HIS HEART INTO HELPING FEED NEEDY - Now THAT'S commitment.

LOCAL HIGH SCHOOL DROPOUTS CUT IN HALF - One or two of those and I bet the rest will stay in school!

HOSPITALS ARE SUED BY 7 FOOT DOCTORS - Oh my. I wonder how big their lawyers are?

Posted by Jake on 01/08/04 @ 04:15 PM
Posted in Funny | Permalink



1 Trackback

Donate-A-Joke from GDay Mate on 01/14/04 @ 11:07 AM:
[Ed: This joke is from Jake Ortman at Utterly Boring. If you enjoyed this joke, please consider donating a few dollars to his medical fund....] Headlines of the Year Headlines that were published in newspapers during 2003: SOMETHING WENT WRONG IN JET C... (Read More)

What are you doing down here? Don't you have something better to do? Like Go Back To The Top of the page, or even see who created this site? This site is © 2001 - 2017 by the Utterly Boring folks at UtterlyBoring.com. Steal my content, as I probably did, too, just link to my site or the original site. Batteries not included. One size fits all. Not for off-road use. Not for internal use. Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.