Ruminations for the Day

From Ruminate.com:

So, now she thinks I’m a “typical, insensitive male.” Who knew that you’re not supposed to use your feet to give a foot massage?

Since beef is “What’s for Dinner” and pork is the “Other White Meat,” I think the poultry industry should trademark “Chicken: What Everything Exotic or Visually Off-Putting Ultimately Tastes Like — Only Cheaper!”

By devoting years of my life to sitting quietly by myself, I’ve finally become one with the world, if by “world” we mean several hundred bags of corn chips and this couch. I’m also content to just “be” with the remote, but that’s icing on the cake.

If you really love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, chain it to a pipe in the basement, because you don’t want to take a chance like that twice.

I bet Yoda wouldn’t have talked backwards all the time if it weren’t for Frank Oz’s hand up his ass.

My girlfriend must be pretty impressed with my member, because every night she covers it in relish. That’s quite a condiment, huh?

March 27, 2003

Autobot sent to aid operation “Iraqi Freedom”

Optimus Prime

Optimus Prime, heroic leader of the Autobots, is on his way to help the US military in Iraq.

http://wkyc.com/news/news_fullstory.asp?id=3828

“Optimus Prime is heading out to the Middle East with his guard unit on Wednesday to provide fire protection for airfields under combat.”

March 27, 2003

Thanks to a roll of the dice, my cousin’s not going to Iraq

My cousin is an Air Force pilot, flying mostly the larger cargo planes and such (as his vision’s not sharp enough for the smaller fighter jets). I had no idea if he was going to be shipped off or not. I guess he’s not, but because of luck more than anything else. The clipped letter from my aunt:

A lot of you have been asking about Mike lately. And I’ve been telling everyone that he is safe in Oklahoma. Well, he called today and said he was “almost deployed”. Rick talked to him and he said 4 guys were called in and they all were going to be deployed, but when they got there, they found out only 2 were needed. They couldn’t decide who should go. So they rolled dice. Mike is staying in Oklahoma! […] We thought Mike was safe from being deployed until December, but maybe not.

Regardless, he’s safe…for now.

March 26, 2003

Only in Central Oregon

Would somebody pay a ton of money to make a resort out this land. And they’ll have a golf course, I’m sure, further sucking up what water we have left. We already have nearly 30 18-hole courses in the county, but we have less people in the county than Eugene has in its city limits. But I guess that’s what I get for living and working in a tourism-driven area.

March 25, 2003

Nuns and pals win $200,000 playing the ponies

It was all a fundraiser to help their school. Amazing.

March 25, 2003

Hell has frozen over

Adobe, makers of the popular Photoshop software and long a supporter of Mac users, has finally conceded that PCs are faster at running their company’s software (not better, necessarily, just faster). If I were Apple, I’d consider this a challenge.

March 25, 2003

Internet Information Server running on Linux?

Apparently on at least one server, so says Netcraft (which does, obviously, guess wrong now and again). Figures it would be something those Brits would do.

March 23, 2003

Competing with Amazon ain’t easy

But if your prices are low enough, things might work out.

March 23, 2003

The War and the Gay Financial Network

While Google News is arguably the best headline aggregator, it sometimes screws up when it tries to decide which news belongs together. Like this example from NTK

March 23, 2003

Can you still figure out the volume of a cone?

If you’ve forgotting all the little formulas from your math-class days (and I’ve forgotten all but the basic ones, despite my high-level math background), this site will help you figure them out again, as well as a bunch more complicated/fancy stuff like calculating the inverse hyperbolic cotangent. Note: There is no error checking on the site. So if you’re looking for the perimeter of the triangle (why you couldn’t remember that equation, I don’t know), you could plug in your sides as 90, 10, and 15, and it’ll give you a perimeter of 115, even though that’s an impossible triangle.

March 23, 2003