I’ve been using the beta version of this (will be installing the release version tonight), and I would recommend everybody download and install the newest version. There are some bugs that got fixed that will help your server load tremendously (especially if you’re getting pounded by comment spam).
You Thought Your Day Sucked?
I doubt your day was as bad as this Bend contractor’s:
A Bend-area construction worker learned a painful lesson the hard way Monday morning: When you stop off on the way to work for the morning cup of brew, don’t leave your keys in the rig ? especially if there’s a trailer and Bobcat on the back. They just might not be there when you return.
One suspect in the pickup and trailer theft was arrested a short time later, but the other fled police in the stolen pickup ? from which the trailer hauling the construction equipment already had been unhooked ? and eventually lost the officers on gravel roads east of town.
Moral of the story? Don’t leave your keys in your car, even for a minute.
That Explains The Headaches
I can’t believe you could have a nail stuck in your head for four years and not know it was there.
Update: OK, apparently link doesn’t work anymore. You can get it via Google’s cache here. Or download a copy of the image here.
Moron Crook For The Day
If you’re going to be driving with 33 bags of cocaine, 34 tablets of ecstasy, a small bag of marijuana, a six-pack of beer, a loaded handgun and two open bottles of alcohol, don’t be an idiot and drive the wrong way down a one-way street.
A $200 Christmas Tree
That’s how much it’ll cost you in Hawaii. Meanwhile, I think my $5 yanked-from-the-forest tree works just fine for me.
Only In Florida
What’s the perfect place for a high school for troubled teens? Right between a strip club and an adult video store.
Idiot For The Day
Just an FYI: It’s probably not a good idea to light your cigarette with the stove while wearing an oxygen mask.
I’m Not Surprised
According to this Oregonian columnist, the “Most disappointing Oregon mall” goes to none other than our Old Mill District. Quoting the column: “The stores are dull and poorly stocked. No buzz here.” Exactly. There are a pile of high-end clothing stores down there, and some high-end gift stores, but nothing I can afford. And for all the hype that the creators of that mall (and even that area of town) created in the community, they’re really not living up to is, in my humble opinion. Get some more family-friendly stores, make it an inviting place to come down to (it’s pretty dark at night down there), and get some buzz going — make it the place to shop in Bend before the Best Buy, Bed Bath and Beyond, and Petsmart open up at the Mountain View Mall (or Cascades Village or whatever they’re going to call it after the demolition/rebuild is complete).
Typography of Newspaper Front Pages
I studied (and practiced) newspaper design in college, and really enjoyed it. Still, to this day, I’m a typography junkie, and I love it when I read things like this. A study was done comparing and compiling what the top 100 newspapers are doing with their typefaces on their front pages. Here’s the full PDF file of the study results. It’s interesting stuff, but I’ll stop here, as it maybe interests about two of the regular readers of this site.
Holiday Eating Tips
When you’re pondering over what to eat at the holiday meals this year, be sure to follow these simple guidelines (thanks Barney for these).
1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they’re serving rum balls.
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it’s rare. In fact, it’s even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can’t find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that has 10,000 calories in every sip? It’s not as if you’re going to turn into an eggnog-alholic or something. It’s a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It’s later than you think. It’s Christmas!
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That’s the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they’re made with skim milk or whole milk. If it’s skim, pass. Why bother? It’s like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people’s food for free. Lots of it. Hello?
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year’s. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you’ll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don’t budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They’re like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you’re never going to see them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don’t like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it’s loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.
10. One final tip: If you don’t feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven’t been paying attention.