Category: Stupid

High school officials have too much time on their hands, and nearly expel people for stupid stuff. I know they have to keep an eye out for weapons on campus, but this is ridiculous. Just ignore that big aluminum baseball bat in the kid’s car, worry about the eight-inch wooden bat in his seat (reg. required).

The Virtual Stapler.

The Consumer Product Safety Commission is putting a recall on matches because they “may ignite upon impact, posing a fire hazard to consumers.” I only wish this was a joke.

And to top it all off, they’re Martha Stewart matches.

Thanks Barney for the link.

The University of Pennsylvania’s National Annenberg Election Survey shows that many Americans believe TV campaign lies:

The survey recently interviewed 1,026 adults in the 18 battleground states where the campaigns have been showing commercials since March. In those states, 61 percent of respondents believe Mr. Bush “favors sending American jobs overseas” and 56 percent believe Mr. Kerry “voted for higher taxes 350 times.” Both of those statements have been repeated countless times in commercials — but neither is accurate.

Full Press Release. Tip from Barney.

Only in Oregon would you see something so stupid.

I saw mayonnaise at home has a sticker that says “Zero Carbs” on it (never mind that it’s got a bunch of cholesterol and fat), but now Coke is introducing a low-carb soda.

All you people out there who are trying to lose weight, diets like this aren’t going to help you — getting off your fat asses and exercising will. </rant>

I really hate memes like this, but since everybody else an their frickin’ dog has done this (and I guess it all started here), here you go:

1) Grab the nearest book

2) Open the book to page 23

3) Find the fifth sentence

4) Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions

For me, the nearest book is one I’m selling on eBay, the Corel Draw 9 User Guide:

Click file, New, From Template.

OK, that sucked, let me see if any of these other books have anything useful on page 23. The next closest books have chapter/section page numbers (1-3, 4-2, etc…) and I don’t feeling like doing the math, so what else can I find here? [looking around my office]

OK, here’s a coherent sentence from The Hip Pocket Guide to HTML 4 (a book that you’d think I’m not actually using, looking at some of my sites):

The text is rendered by browsers in many ways, such as a tool tip over graphics.

This is referring to the “TITLE” attribute.

Wow, that sucked. Carry on.

Louisiana politicians want to make it a crime to wear low-riding pants. Full story.

You should NEVER have a Klingon wedding. Nor should you (like an old friend of mine did) name your kids after Star Wars characters (Anakin and I forgot his daughter’s name).

Update: Be sure to check out the Fark photoshop contest using photos from that site.

From Mike’s Raw Feed…

Vibrant Media’s IntelliTXT system, which rolls out today, places what appear to be links — though they’re green and double-underlined — in online articles. When readers hover their mouse pointer over the linked words, an ad pops up.

I’ve seen ads similar to this on some sites, and they annoy the shit out of me. <sarcasm>I can’t wait to see these on more sites.</sarcasm>