The City of Chicago bought parking meters that don’t work in the cold. This and the previous few links from Fark, and I’ve just been meaning to blog them.
Category: Moronic
David Hasselhoff defeated communism
From BoingBoing, David Hasselhoff has claimed partial responsibility for the fall of the Berlin Wall:
Speaking to German magazine TV Spielfilm, Hasselhoff said in 1989, the year the wall fell, he had helped reunite the country by singing his song ‘Looking for Freedom’ among millions of German fans at the Brandenburg Gate in Berlin….”I find it a bit sad that there is no photo of me hanging on the walls in the Berlin Museum at Check-Point Charlie.
What, you didn’t know he was a singer? Full story.
Bill Gates says no more spam by 2006
You may be a knight, Mr. Bill, but you’re still a moron.
Patent lawyer puts claim to entire Internet
If this isn’t the most asinine lawsuit (and patent), I don’t know what is…
The core of the patent is a so-called method of assigning URLs and email addresses to a specific group. Each member will have a URL in the form “name.subdomain.domain” and an email address in the form “[email protected]”. This, it is claimed in the patent, lives outside the current Internet infrastructure: “The present invention overcomes the limitations of the prior art by providing a method, apparatus and business system that allow a user to quickly communicate online with a member of a particular business, professional or other group regardless of whether the member has an internet presence (e.g. e-mail address or website) and without the user needing to know or find the internet address for the recipient.”
Man survives leap into lion’s den
The guy heard voice from God that told him to jump in. Lion heard voices that said chew on the stupid bastard.
A six-year-old terrorist?
Why don’t I trust the government to do things right? When they’re fully convinced that a six-year-old girl is some sort of terrorist. I don’t care how nice they were to her, the security people should have never had to do that to a little girl — period. Quoted:
My daughter was scared and shaken up by the ordeal and told us that she “hated it.” At least the security people were polite to her. But they were like polite robots, unable to laugh at the fact that someone had mistakenly pegged a little girl as a potential terrorist. No, they insisted that she had to take off her shoes and get patted down and have a wand passed over her body and have her Hello Kitty suitcase opened and examined with a fine toothed comb.
Salon has a good editorial about this.
Andrew Dice Clay ain’t making any friends
The guy’s pretty much pissed off every other network. From getting banned on MTV and Saturday Night Live for his stunts, there’s really nobody that he hasn’t shat on. But you can now add CNN to the list, after his appearance on CNN ended with him swearing on camera. Video is available here.
Stupid politicians apparently have nothing else to worry about
States going bankrupt, economy in freefall, no money for schools, war in Iraq and Afghanistan, and a Congresswoman is fighting to get French toast back in the cafeteria. Link via Fark.
Man gets away with paying with $200 bill
To quote the story sent by Gregg:
Police are searching for a man who paid for $150 in groceries at a Food Lion grocery store with a $200 bill.
The man walked out of the store with his groceries and $50 in change before the fake bill was discovered Sept. 6.
(If you don’t live on this side of the pond, the US Mint doesn’t make a $200 bill). What’s funny is that the bill didn’t even look real:
Instead of being labeled a Federal Reserve note, the fake bill was marked as a “Moral Reserve Note.” The bill bore the signatures of Ronald Reagan, political mentor; and George H.W. Bush, campaign adviser and mentor.
I certainly hope that lady loses her job. Crimeny.
Update on 9/15: Leave it to the Smoking Gun to come up with the bill.
Boy dies after daring teen to hit him on the head with a skateboard
Boy hits own head with skateboard. Boy brags he can take a hit to the head with a skateboard from anybody. Friends follow through. Friends clock him. Boy cracks skull. Boy removed from gene pool.