Category: Funny

22 Below

It was only -13°F this morning at my house, but it was a balmy -22° at my co-worker’s house in Sunriver this morning. The SROA weather station had the low at its office at -19°F overnight (it’s gotten up to -5°F at my office — here comes the heat wave!). La Pine and Sunriver-area schools were cancelled and there were power outages in some areas. Thank goodness I don’t rely on electric heat in my home.

In other words, it’s frackin’ cold out. You whiners in Portland who are complaining about the cold up there (it’s currently 24°F up there), you got nothing on us.

There’s no sense in leaving the house if you don’t have to. This will help to keep you indoors today.

There’s a Woot Off on the main woot, kids woot and wine woot for all your holiday shopping needs.
Somebody with far too much time on their hands has achieved (nearly) everything in World of Warcraft.
This would explain a lot about Tetris.
Parenting is making me dumb.
Only linking to this SFGate story because it mentions a friend of mine and his wife who I went to high school with.
Banning cookies is a really bad idea.
Political correctness has gone too far.
Why Your IT Sucks.
Comcast Acquires Majority of NBC Universal, launches Data Usage Meter in Portland (their cap of 250GB is still quite a bit higher than the 100GB BendBroadband offers).
Millions of tax dollars are going to dead farmers.
Twilight Fans get Punked.

Stay warm!

December 8, 2009

Pre-game Reading Material

OK, this has nothing to do with the upcoming game, but it will get some of these links off my desktop.

Google introduces Public DNS, which is perfect if you don’t want/need the filterting/redirecting of OpenDNS.
Speaking of Google, they’ve introduced asynchronous tracking with Google Analytics — which basically means faster load time for the Analytics code.
The Geek Squad’s Real Agenda Exposed.
Brilliant traffic light design idea.
10 Alternatives to Mininova.
In the spirit of FMyLife comes i’msobadatsex (needless to say, NSFW language).
Another Google Wave Use: Manhunt (I have Google wave, really haven’t had time to play with it much, but this did intrigue me a bit).
Who is the most dominate athlete ever?
Can we say crazy? Mothers Against Nickelodeon. I’m going to start a group someday: “Parents against jackass parents who plant their kids in front of the TV instead of properly interacting and raising their children and then complain when the TV has potentially offensive content.” I think the name needs work, though.
Robin Williams talks about videos games.

OK, that should be enough for a while. Go Ducks!

December 3, 2009

Post-Thanksgiving Reading Material

Hope everybody had a good holiday. Back to work. There will be a quiz tomorrow…

Kid’s drawings reenacted using professional photography.
Just some more Twilight bashing: Bella and Edward are in an abusive relationship.
If you want them to RTFM, make a better FM (from this old but good talk).
Google China vs the Rest Of The World.
Tomboy is a simple little note-taking application for Linux, Unix, and Windows. Now I just need to convince my other (better) half to use this and to quit sticking Post-It notes all over the desk.
Rotate a site. Like this one.
Perl and C programmers like to swear a lot.
Video Professor is a scammer.
TypePad Micro is a great new option for new bloggers.
What kind of cereal are you going to have in the morning? Here’s a handy flowchart to help you decide.
Converting an old Xbox into a cool new hackintosh.
GeoIP Weather: Just load the page, it’ll give you the weather based on your current location.

November 29, 2009

For The Twilight Fans (or Un-fans)

The Twilight madness is at full tilt with last week’s release of the 2nd movie, and this guy’s opinion and description of the movies is probably going to anger some folks — though I had to agree with him and laugh heartily. Observe (naughty language edit warning):

The movie is just the same uninspired crap s**t out onto a film reel. If you like the taste of horse manure on your bologna sandwiches, you’re probably gonna like it on your birthday cake as well. The same principle applies with Twilight.
Beyond that, it’s just a romance novel with the occasional vampire teen drama bulls**t peppered here and there. It doesn’t really break any new ground in the realm of vampire fiction, other than portraying vampires as a family of uncomfortable retards who prance around the woods eating deer and bunny rabbits. There’s lots of nervous lip-biting, tender kisses between Pants and Edward, and lengthy descriptions of every feature of Edward’s body. Pants is a static character who never really progresses beyond being an insecure vampire fangirl who obsesses over Edward. Whether her character grows beyond that is unknown to me, I’d stopped reading by then and shifted my attention to an electric butt-massaging chair in Sky Mall.

Whether you’re a Twilight fan or not, the page is hilarious.

And if you’re interested in a review of the movie, Roger Ebert tore it apart:

The characters in this movie should be arrested for loitering with intent to moan. Never have teenagers been in greater need of a jump-start. Granted some of them are more than 100 years old, but still: their charisma is by Madame Tussaud.
[…]
sitting through this experience is like driving a tractor in low gear though a sullen sea of Brylcreem.

November 23, 2009

Stay Indoors Today

In case you haven’t heard, the area got hit with a bunch of snow overnight and throughout the day. I had nearly a foot at my office at one point, but it’s down a few inches now (still a nasty mess outside). Took me nearly an hour to get to the office this morning. I blame the weather system pictured to the right, from the KTVZ radar, that appears to have an evil face in it over the ocean. Evil-Face Storm (which is what I’m sure Bob Shaw would probably call it) is probably responsible for the snow.

If you can avoid going anywhere today, please do. Meanwhile, here are some links to keep you busy:

Oil tankers are lined up just off the British shore, waiting for oil prices to go up.
Lose the calculator: How to do speedy math in your head.
Subtle messages to your annoying neighbors.
We’ve all had users/clients like this: Clients From Hell.
Answering life’s ultimate question.
Jon Stewart Enlists Pro-Wrestler to Protect a 10-year-old Gay Marriage Activist.
Chrome OS is what I want, but not what I need.
Speaking of Chrome OS, if you’re looking to play with it, you can download a Virtual Machine-friendly version here.
This might come in handy someday: 8 Ways to Tell if your Loved Ones Plan To Eat You.

I’d better go shovel out my car here and start heading home. Be safe out there!

November 22, 2009

Parenting Tip Numero Uno

While this whole article about seven things “good parents” do that screw up their kids is hilariously true, this quote really hit home as I’ve dealt with parents like this:

If you really want your children to learn from an early age, you need to read to them and supply the buggers with as much human-on-human interaction as possible, not park their adorable little butts in front of the f—ing television. TV programs and Infant Education videos use a series of rapidly changing scenes and constantly bombard your kids with new words. With time, their itsy bitsy minds start to filter out most of the information just to help manage the constant barrage, and voila! The kids develop shorter attention spans, and eventually the food service industry claims another life.

A little TV watching is fine (as I know moms are busy or need a break now and again), but if you’re doing it so you don’t have to deal with them or as a replacement for you interacting with them, then you have issues and your kid will have issues.

November 12, 2009

Link Dump

Get these links off my desktop, will ya?

What does Google know about you?
Share your e-mail address safely from spambots.
Great Invoice design and practices.
Perl has a “do” function, but apparently there’s also a don’t.
A (and seems to be the final word) on what you can do with your Windows 7 upgrade media.
Citizen Journalists Can’t Handle The Truth.
Don’t understand xkcd? Then have it explained to you.
TinEye reverse image search. I’m using this to find sources for some random images I’m finding on a file server here, making sure we’re authorized to use them.
XP Quick Fix Plus is a simple little tool to just get some quick and dirty tweaks done in XP.
How much should that car repair cost?
Create your own Facebook quotes.
What are the odds?

November 9, 2009

Everything’s Great, But Nobody’s Happy

It’s amazing how technology has made us into people like this.

November 8, 2009

Links For The Day

Another busy evening (have rehearsal tonight right after work until late and am already tired after today), but have a bunch of stuff to share…

Developing Games for Android.
A really cool multi-app installer which will be great when setting up new computers.
Why do we have an IMG element?
The “Less Than Free” business model.
Unfortunately, victim in fatal car accident was not Glenn Beck.
Twitter Lists How-to.
Old buddy of mine started up Central Oregon Athlete, covering local sports.
ABC Numbers are out, and The Bulletin bucked circulation decline trends by actually posting a very small gain in circulation. They did last year as well. I’m sure you can all come up with reasons as to why they managed this, so knock yourself out below.

November 3, 2009

Darth Vader Was At The Yalta Conference?

Apparently so. On top of that, photographic evidence show that Batman, Spider-man, and The Hulk were all in the War.

October 28, 2009

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