Category: Funny

From the site:

We’d go and sit on the balcony at Terminal 3 at Heathrow Airport, directly under one of the PA speakers where we put a tape machine in a bag with the microphone poking out of the top. Then we’d look for a flight that had arrived in the last 40 minutes from somewhere where you’d expect people with unpronounceable names i.e. Saudi Arabia.

We would then go to the Airport Help Desk with a pre-written note containing the names of fictitious passengers and ask them to read out the names over the PA system.

The passenger’s names looked innocent enough on paper but they sounded like something else when read out loud.

For example: Looks like: Makollig Jezvahted and Levdaroum DeBahzted. Reads Like: My colleague just farted, and left the room, the bastard. The site has sound files as well. Good stuff.

See what other people have done first. I’m amazed the things people have come up with with such little amount of letters and characters to work with.

Boy gets what he deserves.

TheRapistFinder.com (emphasis mine so you get the joke).

I guess I was wrong. From NTK.

Another gem from The Smoking Gun:

Early Saturday morning, David Buhler, 23, and a buddy visited The School House, a southern Michigan topless club, where the guys repaired to a couch to enjoy some adult entertainment. There they were approached by Kasey Ann Colvin, a 20-year-old stripper who hovered over Buhler and asked, “Do you want some of this?” According to the below Jackson Police Department report, Colvin, who had recently given birth, then shot something “out of her breast in a white milky form striking Buhler in the face going into his eyes and by his nose.” Believing he’d been slimed with mother’s milk, Buhler became angry and contacted the club manager, who apologized and offered him free soft drinks and lap dances.

Thanks to Shasta-Bob for this joke:

A mother and her son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son turned to his mother and asked, “If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?”

The mother (who couldn’t think of an answer) told her son to ask the stewardess. So the boy asked the stewardess, “If big dogs have

baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?”

The stewardess responded, “Did your mother tell you to ask me?” The boy admitted that this was the case.”Well, then, tell your mother that

there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time — now let your mother explain that to you.”

Sheriff’s Capt. Scott Moser said the family decided to call police because “they felt he needs to learn a lesson about taking other people’s property.” Well, that’s one way to teach a lesson.

I posted a while back with a little quiz and site that described the differences between the two fonts. Now you can take the role of Helvetica, and kick Arial’s butt.

Make sure when you move out of an apartment, you take your stuff with you, otherwise somebody will be selling it on eBay.