Surfing The Web So You Don't Have To
This is obviously a parody, but a pretty funny one. I love the first entry on the blog:
I’ve wanted to do a blog for ages but Sergey couldn’t manage to set up MovableType. Apparently it’s “Just too difficult”.
Anyway, the other day he suggested that it would be a thousand times easier to just buy Blogger.com.
So we did.
We told them their new terms of employment and only one person disagreed.
Throw a fit, go to power company, strip naked, wash, rinse, repeat.
I should really create a Michael Jackson section here, especially when I get such ripe material as this:
What is Michael Jackson’s favorite part about twenty-eight year olds?
There are twenty of them.
Keep ’em coming, folks!
A cameraman inside a Goodyear blimp was injured when the airship came loose from its moorings, drifted into a parked truck and nose-dived into a fertilizer pile beside a plant nursery. Thanks Barney for the link.
Which is why i find this joke very funny:
U.S. Attorney General John Ashcroft was visiting an elementary school. After speaking for 15 minutes, he said, “I will now answer any questions you have.”
Bobby stood up and said: “I have four questions”:
1. How did Bush win the election with fewer votes than Gore?
2. Why haven’t you caught Osama bin Laden?
3. Why are you using the American Patriot Act to destroy civil liberties?
4. Where are the weapons of mass destruction in Iraq?
Just then the bell went off and the kids were sent out to play. Upon returning, Mr. Ashcroft said: “I am sorry we were interrupted. I will now answer any questions you have.”
A little girl called Julie stood up and said: “I have six questions”:
1. How did Bush win the election with fewer votes than Gore?
2. Why haven’t you caught Osama bin Laden?
3. Why are you using the American Patriot Act to destroy civil liberties?
4. Where are the weapons of mass destruction in Iraq?
5. Why did the bell ring 20 minutes early?
6. Where is Bobby?
I don’t think I could lose at this game. Wait, maybe that’s the point.
This is why I love this state. What other state would you not have to worry if you accidentally forgot to lock up when you left work for the evening? The Safeway store was empty, but the folks who went in, looking to buy groceries, guarded the store until somebody arrived to lock up the place. Thanks to Jack for the link.
How about a festive mask from your sister’s underwear? Or a nice tampon angel? Be sure to get grandma a nice cross-stich pattern for her knitting sessions. Links via Davezilla.
Another email forward (and please, clean your email, folks):
Once upon a time there was a female brain cell which, by mistake, happened to end up in a man’s head.
She looked around nervously because it was all empty and quiet.
“Hello?” she cried, but no answer. “Is there anyone here?” she cried a little louder, but still no answer.
Now the female brain cell started to feel alone and scared and yelled at the top of her voice, “HELLO, IS THERE ANYONE HERE?”
Then she heard a faint voice from far, far away…
“We’re down here!”
A poem that someone just sent to me:
S O M E T I M E S
Sometimes…
when you cry…
no one sees your tears.
Sometimes…
when you are in pain…
no one sees your hurt.
Sometimes…
when you are worried…
no one sees your stress.
Sometimes…
when you are happy…
no one sees your smile.
But FART!! just ONE time…
And everybody knows!!