One that wakes you up with the sweet smell of cooking bacon.
Month: August 2005
The Ten Rules Of Housekeeping
I know I’m going to start telling these to my wife whenever she tells me to clean up something….
1. Vacuuming too often weakens the carpet fibers. Say this with a serious face, and shudder delicately whenever anyone mentions Carpet Fresh.
2. Dust bunnies can evolve into dust rhinos when disturbed. Rename the area under the couch “The Galapagos Islands” and claim an ecological exemption.
3. Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a helpful filter against harmful and aging rays from the sun. Call it an SPF factor of 5 and leave it alone.
4. Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduces the glare from the bulb, thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If your husband points out that the light fixtures need dusting, simply look affronted and exclaim, “What? And spoil the mood?”
5. In a pinch, you can always claim that the haphazard tower of unread magazines and newspapers next to your chair provides the valuable Feng Shui aspect of a tiger, thereby reducing your vulnerability. Roll your eyes when you say this.
6. Explain the mound of pet hair brushed up against the doorways by claiming you are collecting it there to use for stuffing hand sewn play animals for underprivileged children.
7. If unexpected company is coming, pile everything unsightly into one room and close the door. As you show your guests through your tidy home, rattle the door knob vigorously, fake a growl and say, “I’d love you to see our den, but Fluffy hates to be disturbed and the shots are SO expensive.”
8. If dusting is really out of control, simply place a showy urn on the coffee table and insist, “This is where Grandma wanted us to scatter her ashes.”
9. Don’t bother repainting. Simply scribble lightly over a dirty wall with an assortment of crayons, and try to muster a glint of tears as you say, “Junior did this the week before that unspeakable accident … I haven’t had the heart to clean it.”
10. Mix one quarter cup pine scented household cleaner with four cups of water in a spray bottle. Mist the air lightly. Leave dampened rags in conspicuous locations. Develop an exhausted look, throw yourself onto the couch, and sigh, “I clean and I clean and I still don’t get anywhere…”
Thanks Susie for that.
Farm Country More Wired Than Rest Of State
I wish this was happening in our neck of the woods, but a few hours Northeast of here there’s a gigantic Wi-Fi hot spot, some say the largest in the world
This is cowboy country, where the rodeo is coming to town, the high school’s “kiss the pig” contest involves a genuine hog, and life seems about as high-tech as the local calf-dressing competition, when teams race to wrestle protesting calves into T-shirts.
But Hermiston is actually a global leader of our Internet future. Today, this chunk of arid farm country appears to be the largest Wi-Fi hot spot in the world, with wireless high-speed Internet access available free for some 600 square miles. Most of that is in eastern Oregon, with some just across the border in southern Washington.
Obviously, the money to fund this came because of the fact they have a large chunk of hazardous government property up there that they want to keep safe, but it’s still nice to know that I could (if I was so inclined) fly down Interstate 84 and browse the ‘net.
Thanks Blake for the link.
Secret Documents About Indymedia Server Disappearance Unsealed
Apparently, it sounded like the Web hosts‘ fault (though they may have been pressured more than the documents show).
EFF last week won a motion allowing it to access sealed court documents about the mysterious disappearance of two web servers used to host news websites for Indymedia, a global collective of Independent Media Centers (IMCs) and thousands of journalists. After six months of secret litigation, EFF obtained a copy of the federal court order that resulted in the October 2004 handover of copies of Indymedia servers to the government by Indymedia’s web host. That handover resulted in the silencing of more than 20 news websites and radio feeds for nearly a week.
However, the unsealed documents reveal that the government never officially demanded the computer servers – the subpoena to Rackspace only requested server log files. This contradicts previous statements by the web host that it took the servers offline because the government had demanded the hardware. The documents also contradict Rackspace’s claim that it had been ordered by the court not to discuss publicly the government’s demand. It cannot be determined from the unsealed documents whether or not the government informally pressured Rackspace to turn over the servers.
Full Story via Library Autonomous Zone. Original story about the server takedown on EFF’s site.
Be Careful What You Screw
Hilarious commercial for a power tool company. Thanks felix for the link.
Biking And Alcohol Don’t Mix
Had quite the shock when I was driving home today. I exit the parkway daily at Revere and Division. As I coming around the corner, about to cross the railroad tracks, there was a man and his bike laying on the road in front of me. The guy wasn’t moving. I stopped my car, immediately threw on my hazard lights, and went down to see what was wrong. He was a man in about his forties, and his head was cut up pretty bad in the front and in the back. I called 911, told dispatch where we were at, and a couple of other folks driving by helped divert traffic a bit at the busy intersection (it was about 7:30 at the time — I can only imagine if this were at 5:00).
I went down closer to the man to make sure the cuts weren’t life threatening, and made sure that nobody made the attempt to move him. I had no idea how he got there and I’ve taken enough first-aid classes to know better than to move him. Heck, it could’ve been a hit-and-run for all I knew. But as I got closer, it looked like the bleeding wasn’t anything major (nothing that needed me to try to put a stop to it), so somebody in another car just got the guy a pillow for his neck (against my better wishes) and we waited, talking to him to make sure he was all right.
As I got closer to the guy, asked him a few questions, I realized what had happened: the guy was drunk. Other cars said they didn’t see anybody hit the guy, they just saw him fall off the curb. Regardless, 911 was called, ambulance and police showed up, they did take him to SCMC as he was banged up pretty dang good and I’m sure they want to test his blood-alcohol level. I’m sure he’s fine, but he did smell of something fowl.
But there you guy, ladies and gentlemen: A textbook BUI, or “Biking Under The Influence.”
TV Journalism Lost A Good Man Tonight
Peter Jennings: 1938-2005.
“I swear, officer, I’m not drunk…”
“….it’s this stupid machine I’m hooked up to.”
He’ll Never Have A Girlfriend
The mathematical odds are against him. But feel free to apply if you feel you’re qualified.
Bad Design
Some beautiful examples of some poor decisions. From dumb street names to product lid designs, it’s all here. Link via BBspot.