Month: February 2004

Advice for the Ladies

(Another Joke from Shasta Bob)

If you want someone willing to make a fool of himself simply over the joy of seeing you, get a dog.

If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him and never says its not quite as good as his mother made it, get a dog.

If you want someone always willing to go out, at any hour, for as long and wherever you want, get a dog.

If you want someone to scare away burglars, without a lethal weapon which terrifies you and endangers the lives of your family and all the neighbors, get a dog.

If you want someone who will never touch the remote, doesn’t care about football, and can sit next to you and watch a romantic movie, get a dog.

If you want someone who is content to get up on your bed just to warm your feet and whom you can push off if he snores, get a dog.

If you want someone who never criticizes what you do, doesn’t care if you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young or old, who acts as if every word you say is especially worthy of listening to, and loves you unconditionally, perpetually, get a dog.

But on the other hand, if you want someone…

…who will never come when you call,

…ignores you totally when you come home,

…leaves hair all over the place,

…walks all over you,

…runs around all night,

…only comes home to eat and sleep,

…and acts as if your entire existence is solely to ensure his happiness,

Then my friend……Get a cat.

Disclaimer:

Any resemblance to a man is purely coincidental.

Want to drink yourself stupid?

All you need is a spare set of kidneys.

That’d be a fun field trip

Wonder who signed the permission slips for this one (thanks to Shasta Bob for the pic)…

Remember to stop when the red lights flash.

Send Bruce Willis After It

Scientists are looking for ways to defend Earth from large asteroids. I know the solution: Let’s just send Ben Aflek and Bruce Willis after it. If they really have to sacrifice themselves, will they really be missed?

Open Casting Call for Gus Van Sant’s Next Movie

I just got an email from an old friend of mine, and I told her I’d help spread the word to budding actors and actresses out there (assuming some of them actually read this blog). Here’s the text of the announcement:

We are having an open casting call for Gus Van Sant’s next film, in Portland, Oregon. This is a film about a Rock & Roll musician that will shoot this April in Portland. We are looking for males and females, ages 16 – 25 years old. We want to meet all types of people with interesting personalities and style.

The casting call will be held:

Sunday, February 29, 2004

10:00 a.m. – 4 p.m.

at C.S.C. – Child Services Center (Formerly Washington High School)

531 S.E. 14th Avenue

Portland, Oregon 97214

Info Hotline: (503) 248-6741

Prior acting experience is not necessary. We are interested in real people. Interested individuals just need to show up Sunday and be patient.

So there you go, Heather, you owe me a favor 😉

Shopping for a Web Host

Recently, my Web host of several years got bought/merged/whatever with Data393, who also owns HugeHosting as well as a couple other companies, from what I understand. Prior to the merge, my service was great, my tickets were answered and taken care of in less than an hour, the speed was fast, and my sites rarely went down, if at all.

And lately, the connectivity has sucked, the tickets have taken a while to get my direction, the family-like atmosphere is gone, and us clients were completely left in the dark about the details of the merger, how it affected us, features/benefits, or anything of the sort.

While I’d like to give my host the benefit of the doubt, I’m starting to get the feeling I’ve held out hope to long, and those thoughts were confirmed after talking to a couple other clients of theirs as well. They’re moving, and I’m thinking I should, too.

So if anybody out there has any suggestions, recommendations, I’d like to hear it. I’m looking for a reseller solution, 500 megs of space (at least), Cpanel-powered, 30 gigs of bandwidth, and DAMN good support. Ideally, I’d like a dedicated box or a VPS, but I know that’s not probably going to happen. I’m looking for a family-like feel with big time power and service — which is what I used to get when I first signed on with my host when they were based back here in Oregon. And I want somebody who knows how to setup a server properly so it’s not doomed for failure — in other words, if you leave the Exim and Apache settings at the default when you setup and install it, I will not be hosting with you.

E-mail me at jake [insert that funny looking symbol here] utterlyboring [period] com if you have any recommendations.

Beat up your PC

The Brits make the best cup of tea

And this guy’s willing to sell his expertise to us Yankees — assuming we fly him over here.

Windows source code comments analyzed

A very interesting article at K5 analyzing the comments in the leaked Windows source code.

Portfolio with MT and PHP

When I finally get around to getting a portfolio of my work on line, I might try doing it this way.