Month: June 2003

And other beloved childrens books. Link via BBspot.

Don’t play with yourself in the shower, otherwise you might find notes on your fridge like this.

A bit of background. Goatse is possibly the foulest image ever put on the internet: a man pulling open his anus so wide that you could stick a child’s head in it. I’m not even going to link to it, but if you want to type w-w-w-dot-g-o-a-t-s-e-dot-c-x into your browser, that’s your own right. The image became famous after trolls — people who like to spend time running up bandwidth for stupid posts on message boards — started linking to it on every board under the sun. And that’s where b3ta comes in. One of their forums members has painted a version of the image, and submitted to his local paper and got it printed.

I never knew they sold such a thing.

Another one from JokeADay:

It’s common practice in England to ring a telephone by sending extra voltage across one side of the two wire circuit and ground (earth in England). When the subscriber answers the phone, it switches to the two wire circuit for the conversation. This method allows two parties on the same line to be signalled without disturbing each other.

An elderly lady with several pets called to say that her telephone failed to ring when her friends called; and that on the few occasions when it did ring her dog always barked first. The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog.

He climbed a nearby telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber’s house. The phone didn’t ring. He tried again. The dog barked loudly, followed by a ringing telephone.

Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:

1. The dog was tied to the telephone system’s ground post via an iron chain and collar.

2. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signalling current.

3. After several such jolts, the dog would start barking and urinating on the ground.

4. The wet ground now completed the circuit and the phone would ring.

Which shows you that some problems can be fixed by just pissing on them. But only temporarily.

From JokeADay: News reports have filtered out early this morning that US forces have swooped down on an Iraqi Primary School and captured 6th Grade teacher Mohammed Al-Hazar.

Sources indicate that, when arrested, Al-Hazar was in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a geo-board, base-ten blocks, algebra tiles, a computer, a data projector, and a graphing calculator.

This proves that Iraq indeed possesses weapons of math instruction.