Along the same vein as Female or Shemale, is it an Arse or an Elbow?
I only got 8 out of 14. Luckily I did better on the Female/Shemale quiz!
EDIT (by Jake): Gregg’s a dork, as I already posted this. He’s cut off from the brew from now on
Month: December 2002
Snow Rush!
OK, I know what I’ll be spending the rest of my lunch doing: Playing Snowrush!
Inappropriate Banner Ads
From NTK: The banner ad on this article would probably be even less appropriate in a sky-scraper format.
32 Computer Newbie Safety Instructions
From Lockergnome. Follow these, all you newbies out there, and make my life easier:
(1) Don’t open attachments that you didn’t ask for, even if you think you know who’s sending them
(2) make sure your software and OS are up-to-date. If you don’t have a broadband connection, take the machine somewhere that does
(3) If something asks to install itself on your computer, just say no. Call your local geek and ask how to proceed.
(4) You cannot initiate World War III by pressing the wrong key
(5) Sign up for a computer class. It’s a proven fact that family members suck at teaching the basics.
(6) Do not give out credit card information to anybody through e-mail or an instant messenger, no matter how official it sounds. Again, call your geek first.
(7) If you want to find something online, go to Google.com
(8) Do not eat or drink near your computer system unless your hardware is orange juice compatible
(9) CTRL+Z will usually undo the last thing you did, no matter where you are or what you’re doing
(10) Do not use the CAPS LOCK key; that is for expert users only.
(11) If something doesn’t want to go into a port, don’t force it; chances are, it’s not supposed to go in there. At least, not the way you think it should go.
(12) Those are floppy disks. Yes, I realize their case is hard, but the hard drive is actually inside that case
(13) Yes, that’s the case. The CPU is sitting inside of it on the motherboard – which is the stage upon which all of your computer components sit
(14) Memory is not the same thing as a hard drive; memory is also known as RAM, which is where programs and open documents are loaded. The hard drive is where your files sit silently, waiting for you to put them into memory.
(15) A screen saver is not the same thing as a desktop wallpaper; screen savers are animated, whereas a wallpaper is the picture that sits behind your icons
(16) There’s more than one way to do complete a task – this isn’t math class
(17) Don’t get mad at me when something doesn’t work; don’t get mad at the computer when something doesn’t work; don’t get mad at yourself when something doesn’t work
(18) Be inquisitive, but understand that certain answers may not exist – no matter how many ways you try to ask the same question
(19) You’re probably not going to get hacked; ask your geek how to best protect yourself if you’re worried
(20) Forwarding joke mails is not funny.
(21) The Internet doesn’t always move as fast as you’d like it to go; you’re not the only person online right now
(22) Don’t respond to special offers you didn’t ask for through e-mai
(23) Try right-clicking on your icons to see what you can do with each one
(24) Keep all of your saved files, word processing documents, spreadsheets, cards, etc. in the “My Documents” folder. Whenever a program asks you to save something somewhere, save it in there
(25) There’s more on your computer than “the Internet” and Solitaire
(26) You don’t need Photoshop to edit your digital photos
(27) Don’t send videos through e-mai
(28) The computer only does what you tell it to do; there are exceptions to this rule, but if you keep running into the same walls, you’re probably doing something wrong. That’s okay, even geeks make mistakes
(29) You usually can’t return opened software; learn how to download files to try them before you buy them
(30) You won’t need to upgrade everything tomorrow; this system will not be obsolete until it can’t do something you need it to do
(31) Have fun! If you take this activity too seriously, you won’t want to play with the computer too often; and
(32) subscribe to Lockergnome!
HotBot is Back
Back in the day, HotBot was the power user’s search engine. It was clean, fast, and you could do a lot of advanced stuff with it. Now they’ve got a neat little feature that allows you to search Fast, Google, Inktomi, and Teoma all from the same interface, allowing you to easily switch between the results from each engine. It’s not a META search (which would include all the results from all the engines in one page), but still a pretty neat tool. And HotBot still has some of the best advanced search tools out there, and it incorporates the advanced tools from those various engines as well.
For a full story on the changes, check out this article.
Ruminations for the Day
From Ruminate.com:
My dumb brother says life is all about compassion, wisdom and love for our fellow man. What an idiot! Life is about peace and understanding and building a world full of friendship for all mankind. Dumbass.
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I used to be scared of dogs. Then I realized that dogs are just as scared of me as I am of them; they just show it differently. They show it by barking and snapping at me, and I show it by soiling myself.
Paradoxian Tarot
A friend of mine (Dylon Whyte) who makes chainmail has a small part on his site devoted to his Paradoxian tarot deck.
All images were created by him. Some interesting computer artwork.
Which kinds of journalists make the best lovers?
From Dr. Ink, Which kinds of journalists make the best lovers? His speculation is TV news anchors are the best, but I have no opinion as I can’t say that I’ve ever even come close to dating a journalist. Worked with a pile of them, but never got close to romantically involved.
Woohoo! I’m a whole $120 richer!
Thanks to the Oregon Unclaimed Property Database, I’m about $120 richer! Apparently, I was owed a tax refund and small paycheck from one of my first jobs when I was in high-school. I filled out the form, sent it all in with proof of address change, and they just wrote me back, saying that I was owed a bit of money from two places.
This will be going to getting new brakes on my wife’s car before she plows into something.
For those of you outside of Oregon, head to this site. Then you can easily hit the state database for your state.
Outlook 2000 100% CPU Utilization Fix
For those of you who use Outlook 2000, SP3, and have been severely annoyed when it occasionally took up 100% of your CPU power, Microsoft has finally released a patch for it.
More info here: