A novel idea: Same-person marriage

Another brilliant commentary from Barney:

Same-sex marriage? That’s so 2001. Okay, 2002.

I want to promote same-person marriage.

That’s right. I want to marry MYSELF. Me, myself and I — my goodness, it’s almost a menage a trois!

I love me, as all good, right-thinking people should. I’m my best friend. I’ve known me all my life, sometimes, ahem, in that personal way people only really get to know themselves.

I try to take good care of myself. (Not always succeeding, but I do try). And I forgive myself when I don’t. I try to be honest with myself, because I deserve it.

When I look in the mirror, I see a right handsome dude. Others can’t see in me what I see in myself. We have a special bond, and even look fondly on “Me and My Shadow,” especially when we’re strolling down the avenue. Like SNL’s Stuart Smalley said, “I’m Good Enough, I’m Smart Enough and Doggone It, People Like Me” — so why shouldn’t I pay myself the ultimate compliment, and marry me? (If I’m good enough for myself, that is.)

So I think I’ll head to the county clerk’s office. If two people of the same sex can legally marry, why can’t I marry myself? I want to hear the preacher say, “I now pronounce you … you.”

Haven’t you ever just loved something you did, said or … performed, enough to say, “Boy, I sure love me right now!” Why not be able to profess that love to the whole world?

Now, isn’t that special? (No, not a ‘special right’ – a special ME!;-)