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UtterlyBoring.com is produced by Jake Ortman (e-mail, resume), a 33-year-old dad, percussionist, sysadmin, Web developer, IT consultant and jack-of-all-trades geek, living in Bend, Oregon. He created this so that his expensive journalism and technology degree isn't getting totally wasted. In addition to editing this site in his free time, he is the service manager at Weston Technologies. He has LinkedIn and Facebook profiles if you're trying to stalk him. He will not be posting on Twitter.
Opinions and comments on this site are the opinions of the author, not the author's employer, family, friends or pets.
This site is powered by Movable Type and is hosted by orty.com. Since December 1st, 2002, there have been 6474 entries. Visitors to this blog have posted 21202 comments.
If you're reading this, you have too much time on your hands. |
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Entries posted in Scary
- Every-three-month(ish) Link Dump - Posted on 11/29/12 @ 10:20 PM
- Flat Out Crazy/Stupid/etc... - Posted on 01/02/12 @ 10:49 PM
- You'd Never See This In America - Posted on 12/08/11 @ 12:57 PM
- Scary Stat For The Day - Posted on 11/09/11 @ 04:31 PM
- Back To Reality - Posted on 07/31/11 @ 04:13 PM
- Super Mario Bros. Bad Guys Reimagined - Posted on 07/17/11 @ 05:30 PM
- Android Screen Customization Is A Great Feature - Posted on 04/05/11 @ 12:37 PM
- Japan Won't Stop Shaking - Posted on 03/17/11 @ 01:08 PM
- Amazing (and Scary) Japan Tsunami Video and Photos - Posted on 03/13/11 @ 02:06 PM
- It's The Inequality, Stupid - Posted on 02/28/11 @ 03:36 PM
- Reading and Watching Material - Posted on 12/30/10 @ 05:12 PM
- Amazon Sold 158 Items Per Second on Cyber-Monday - Posted on 12/28/10 @ 10:04 AM
- Remember when Bend used to be a quiet town with very little violent crime? - Posted on 12/15/10 @ 09:43 PM
- 69 Years Later, These Images Are Still Haunting - Posted on 12/07/10 @ 01:17 PM
- Reason I Hate My Commute #156 - Posted on 11/15/10 @ 09:19 PM
- They Crapped Their Pants So We Don't Have To - Posted on 11/11/10 @ 09:28 PM
- My Eyes Hurt - Posted on 10/21/10 @ 11:09 PM
- Reading Material - Posted on 10/12/10 @ 03:32 PM
- Dinner On A Budget? - Posted on 10/05/10 @ 04:59 PM
- Need To Charge Your iPod? - Posted on 10/03/10 @ 04:36 PM
- Good Question - Posted on 09/26/10 @ 10:15 AM
- Why I Will Never Live In The Midwest, Reason #418 - Posted on 09/16/10 @ 09:42 AM
- Reading (and Watching) Material - Posted on 09/13/10 @ 04:08 PM
- Why You Won't See Me On A Cruise - Posted on 09/07/10 @ 05:18 PM
- Reading Material - Posted on 08/24/10 @ 03:47 PM
- Reading Material - Posted on 08/08/10 @ 04:29 PM
- Thirty Years Later, and These Images Are Still Haunting - Posted on 05/18/10 @ 11:18 PM
- Reading Material - Posted on 05/04/10 @ 04:52 PM
- Reading Material - Posted on 03/29/10 @ 03:47 PM
- The Worst Christmas Present Ever - Posted on 03/11/10 @ 04:41 PM
- Reading Material - Posted on 01/18/10 @ 01:20 PM
- I Need A Wii - Posted on 01/17/10 @ 03:03 PM
- Freak Of The Day - Posted on 01/12/10 @ 10:04 PM
- Reading Material - Posted on 01/07/10 @ 11:19 PM
- They May Look Cute And Cuddly... - Posted on 11/19/09 @ 11:06 PM
- Best Culinary Invention Ever! - Posted on 10/19/09 @ 09:49 AM
- Six-year-old Flying Over Colorado in Homemade Balloon -- UPDATE: Or not... - Posted on 10/15/09 @ 12:29 PM
- Lindsay Lohan Has Really Let Herself Go - Posted on 10/13/09 @ 02:08 PM
- Time Lapse of the LA Fires - Posted on 08/31/09 @ 10:54 PM
- The Scariest Thing You'll See All Week - Posted on 08/30/09 @ 02:17 PM
- Scary Book Title For The Day - Posted on 08/26/09 @ 10:02 PM
- There Are Some Weird People Out There - Posted on 08/09/09 @ 10:26 PM
- I May Complain About The Cold, But At Least I Can Still Move - Posted on 06/10/09 @ 10:49 PM
- Bird vs. Plane Engine - Posted on 02/10/09 @ 10:43 AM
- These Folks Are Downright Stupid - Posted on 02/08/09 @ 05:21 PM
- Check Your Snack Drawer - Posted on 01/17/09 @ 08:12 PM
- Warning: Contents May Be Flammable - Posted on 12/30/08 @ 02:56 PM
- Want to Lose Your Lunch? - Posted on 11/18/08 @ 10:59 PM
- Reason Number One Why I Will Never Go To Australia - Posted on 10/22/08 @ 02:37 PM
- Hurricane Ike Aftermath Photos - Posted on 09/15/08 @ 04:30 PM
- We've All Had Bad Days At The Office... - Posted on 06/04/08 @ 10:27 PM
- Blogging Until You Drop - Posted on 04/08/08 @ 10:33 PM
- "MySpace is the anti-Christ for children" - Posted on 04/08/08 @ 05:03 PM
- Don't Try This At Home - Posted on 04/08/08 @ 10:52 AM
- Nothing Could Possibly Go Wrong With This - Posted on 01/01/08 @ 11:53 AM
- Nasty - Posted on 12/11/07 @ 10:45 PM
- Another Chinese Toy Recall - Posted on 12/10/07 @ 04:34 PM
- Thank Goodness Our Housekeepers Don't Try This Crap - Posted on 12/10/07 @ 03:16 PM
- If You Thought The Alfred Hitchcock Version Was Scary... - Posted on 11/25/07 @ 10:35 PM
- I Don't Know What The Hell This Thing is... - Posted on 10/28/07 @ 10:58 PM
- That's A Lot Of Concrete - Posted on 10/10/07 @ 03:16 PM
- You Won't See This Burger At The Pilot Butte Drive In - Posted on 10/08/07 @ 11:13 PM
- Was Your eBay Account and Credit Card Exposed? - Posted on 09/27/07 @ 11:57 AM
- Worst Way To Die... - Posted on 08/14/07 @ 05:25 PM
- That's Not A Knife... - Posted on 08/07/07 @ 09:35 PM
- Want To Totally Infect A PC With Spyware? - Posted on 05/24/07 @ 10:25 PM
- How Is This Person Still Alive? - Posted on 04/19/07 @ 11:46 AM
- Virginia Tech Killer Sends Package To NBC - Posted on 04/18/07 @ 08:12 PM
- California Father and Son Arrested In Fatal Bend Hit-and-Run - Posted on 04/18/07 @ 01:48 PM
- Way Behind... - Posted on 02/19/07 @ 09:27 AM
- Celine Dion Does AC/DC - Posted on 01/22/07 @ 10:41 PM
- The Human Slingshot - Posted on 01/17/07 @ 09:07 PM
- So What Did The OJ Simpson Book Actually Say? - Posted on 01/17/07 @ 05:17 PM
- How Dirty Are NYC Buildings? - Posted on 01/11/07 @ 01:52 PM
- Parenting At Its Finest - Posted on 01/01/07 @ 05:19 PM
- This Is Just So Wrong - Posted on 11/20/06 @ 04:59 PM
- Stupidly Hard Game For The Day - Posted on 11/09/06 @ 02:17 PM
- Quote Of The Month - Posted on 11/01/06 @ 12:14 PM
- It's Peter Griffin In The Flesh - Posted on 10/12/06 @ 12:22 PM
- Don't Mess With These Ladies - Posted on 09/13/06 @ 05:08 PM
- Cats Are Killers - Posted on 08/03/06 @ 03:33 PM
- Local Four-Year-Old Beaten To Death By Step Dad - Posted on 08/03/06 @ 11:09 AM
- The Black Crater Fire Is Getting Worse (Updated 7/31) - Posted on 07/29/06 @ 06:16 PM
- Why I'll Never Buy A Dell - Posted on 06/25/06 @ 05:27 PM
- Want To Lose Your Lunch? - Posted on 05/29/06 @ 10:39 AM
- You Should Always Wear Your Seatbelt - Posted on 05/01/06 @ 05:23 PM
- Farmers Beware - Posted on 04/29/06 @ 10:11 PM
- Quote Of The Day - Posted on 04/25/06 @ 10:33 PM
- Somebody Should Do This Through Bend - Posted on 04/24/06 @ 05:33 PM
- I Don't Know Which Is Worse - Posted on 04/11/06 @ 01:01 PM
- Coming To Playboy - Posted on 02/27/06 @ 09:52 PM
- If You Don't Want To Eat Lunch Today... - Posted on 02/09/06 @ 12:29 PM
- Why I Will Never Own A Cat - Posted on 02/05/06 @ 10:47 AM
- Why Would You Ever Do This? - Posted on 12/18/05 @ 12:43 PM
- How Fast Can You Type The Alphabet Backwards? - Posted on 12/09/05 @ 08:16 PM
- It's Rodney Dangerfield and Bob Marley's Love Child - Posted on 12/06/05 @ 03:23 PM
- People Do Stupid Things - Posted on 12/06/05 @ 02:43 PM
- Man With The World's Strongest Penis - Posted on 12/01/05 @ 04:32 PM
- How Does He Do This? - Posted on 11/27/05 @ 11:13 AM
- That's Going To Sting A Bit - Posted on 11/23/05 @ 01:28 PM
- That's Going To Sting A Bit - Posted on 11/13/05 @ 02:36 PM
- Just Don't Eat The Parsley - Posted on 10/31/05 @ 10:05 AM
- Software Bugs Are Bad - Posted on 10/26/05 @ 09:15 AM
- How Many Condoms Can You Wear At Once? - Posted on 10/09/05 @ 05:03 PM
- Extreme Rock Paper Scissors - Posted on 09/28/05 @ 01:35 PM
- Rita Is Coming - Posted on 09/22/05 @ 12:56 PM
- The World's Ugliest Dog - Posted on 09/01/05 @ 01:54 PM
- The World's Worst Credit Card - Posted on 08/09/05 @ 10:32 AM
- This Is An Accident Waiting To Happen - Posted on 08/02/05 @ 08:56 AM
- A Reporter's Worst Nightmare - Posted on 07/31/05 @ 12:36 PM
- Is It Mountain Dew Code Red... - Posted on 07/28/05 @ 11:32 AM
- Office Warfare - Posted on 07/28/05 @ 11:23 AM
- A $31,000 Cell Phone - Posted on 07/25/05 @ 11:15 AM
- Need Some Caffeine? - Posted on 07/10/05 @ 10:12 PM
- Bad Product Name For The Day - Posted on 07/10/05 @ 10:08 PM
- Be Safe This 4th of July - Posted on 07/04/05 @ 02:52 PM
- 17.5 Ton Popsicle Floods NYC - Posted on 06/23/05 @ 10:46 AM
- You've Seen The Paris Hilton Burger Porn - Posted on 06/19/05 @ 05:00 PM
- For Fathers Day - Posted on 06/08/05 @ 04:54 PM
- "And Today's In-flight Meal Will Be..." - Posted on 06/08/05 @ 10:04 AM
- Why I Never Play Chess - Posted on 06/06/05 @ 04:36 PM
- Don't Use That Toilet - Posted on 05/25/05 @ 04:42 PM
- Strong Enough For A Man - Posted on 05/23/05 @ 04:42 PM
- This Is Scary - Posted on 05/23/05 @ 02:54 PM
- They Waxed Your What?!? - Posted on 05/19/05 @ 10:09 PM
- Taking Self-Defense To A Whole New Level - Posted on 05/15/05 @ 03:53 PM
- Squeeze Your Tongue With A Vice Grip - Posted on 05/10/05 @ 04:59 PM
- Good Lord That's Ugly - Posted on 05/03/05 @ 10:56 AM
- Best (and Worst) Use Of Batch Files - Posted on 05/02/05 @ 05:21 PM
- Almost Scammed - Posted on 04/14/05 @ 01:12 PM
- For The Self-Daters Out There - Posted on 04/13/05 @ 07:52 PM
- The School Shooter Was One Messed Up Dude - Posted on 03/27/05 @ 04:16 PM
- I'm Not Worried About Terrorists - Posted on 03/27/05 @ 01:20 PM
- How Often Do They Check Your Signature? - Posted on 03/22/05 @ 12:14 PM
- Don't Booze Up On Airplanes - Posted on 03/21/05 @ 02:09 PM
- How To Kill A Mockingbird - Posted on 03/16/05 @ 05:06 PM
- The FCC Would Have A Field Day - Posted on 03/14/05 @ 03:10 PM
- For The Math Studs - Posted on 03/09/05 @ 01:09 PM
- The Ultimate Shredder - Posted on 03/08/05 @ 04:05 PM
- Freaky Chicken Eater - Posted on 03/08/05 @ 11:03 AM
- "I'm Watching You, Jimmy" - Posted on 03/03/05 @ 04:14 PM
- George W. Bush, Episode II - Posted on 02/17/05 @ 11:06 PM
- Instant Karma for Bike Bully - Posted on 02/13/05 @ 03:38 PM
- Men: Never Turn Down Sex - Posted on 02/10/05 @ 09:39 AM
- I Really Don't Know What To Say About This - Posted on 02/07/05 @ 10:04 AM
- Future Proof A/V Receiver - Posted on 02/05/05 @ 07:35 AM
- Bill Gates is A Stud - Posted on 01/31/05 @ 01:15 PM
- Cow Dung Fire Burning For Third Month - Posted on 01/31/05 @ 12:47 PM
- What (Who?) Did Tonya Harding Eat? - Posted on 01/30/05 @ 04:53 PM
- This Is Frightening - Posted on 01/26/05 @ 09:05 AM
- Lousy Weather - Posted on 01/19/05 @ 10:20 AM
- Incredible Before And After Tsunami Photos - Posted on 01/09/05 @ 12:23 PM
- Oddball Taxidermy - Posted on 01/04/05 @ 12:04 PM
- 67 Years Old And Pregnant - Posted on 12/31/04 @ 08:35 AM
- One Impressive RV - Posted on 12/24/04 @ 07:49 AM
- Mmmm....cookies.... - Posted on 12/22/04 @ 12:11 PM
- That Explains The Headaches - Posted on 12/20/04 @ 03:57 PM
- A $200 Christmas Tree - Posted on 12/20/04 @ 03:48 PM
- 20 Amazing Facts About Voting in the USA - Posted on 12/19/04 @ 12:15 PM
- "Mommy, look what we found!" - Posted on 12/17/04 @ 07:51 AM
- This Is Depressing - Posted on 12/15/04 @ 09:20 AM
- More Depressing Holiday News - Posted on 12/14/04 @ 10:18 AM
- The Death Of Christmas is Coming - Posted on 12/13/04 @ 10:27 PM
- Google Gets Nine-Cents On Every Search - Posted on 12/13/04 @ 10:39 AM
- Who Needs A Vasectomy? - Posted on 12/09/04 @ 02:39 PM
- That's One Tough Crook - Posted on 12/08/04 @ 04:15 PM
- Children's Knitted Gimp Suit - Posted on 12/05/04 @ 01:11 PM
- Weapons Stash Found Under Sunriver Home - Posted on 11/30/04 @ 03:27 PM
- Blogger Murders Mother - Posted on 11/29/04 @ 01:16 PM
- Watch Those Manners - Posted on 11/28/04 @ 03:43 PM
- Real Doll For Pedophiles? - Posted on 11/28/04 @ 01:17 PM
- Your Color Laser Printer's Hiding Something - Posted on 11/26/04 @ 09:04 AM
- Someone Needs A Hobby - Posted on 11/25/04 @ 01:03 PM
- Drugs Are Bad - Posted on 11/23/04 @ 01:33 PM
- It's That Time of The Year - Posted on 11/18/04 @ 12:40 PM
- The World From A Dog's Point of View - Posted on 11/08/04 @ 02:39 PM
- KFC Is On The Scene - Posted on 11/08/04 @ 11:47 AM
- School Wants to Drug Test 7th Graders - Posted on 10/28/04 @ 12:19 PM
- All But Six-Million of Us Will Have To Go - Posted on 10/24/04 @ 11:45 AM
- That's Comforting - Posted on 10/19/04 @ 09:47 AM
- I'd Be Laughing... - Posted on 10/10/04 @ 05:17 PM
- How Do Americans Sleep at Night? - Posted on 10/10/04 @ 04:34 PM
- Another Reason to Avoid Nebraska - Posted on 10/07/04 @ 11:46 AM
- My Eyes, My Bleeding Eyes!!! - Posted on 10/05/04 @ 11:06 PM
- Best Flash Intro Ever - Posted on 10/03/04 @ 10:46 AM
- The State Of The Computing Industry - Posted on 09/27/04 @ 11:35 AM
- Arrest Made in Drake Park Slaying - Posted on 09/22/04 @ 10:59 AM
- Why I Don't Trust The Government - Posted on 09/22/04 @ 10:03 AM
- Fastest Speeding Ticket in Minnesota History - Posted on 09/22/04 @ 08:52 AM
- <church lady>Well isn't that special... - Posted on 09/21/04 @ 05:16 PM
- Another Body Found in Drake Park - Posted on 09/21/04 @ 02:56 PM
- Ballot Fraud Waiting To Happen - Posted on 09/20/04 @ 05:00 PM
- Good Thing He Didn't Ask For A Burger - Posted on 09/20/04 @ 02:54 PM
- Surfer Rides Hurricane Ivan Waves - Posted on 09/20/04 @ 01:07 PM
- This Has to Be a Twilight Zone Episode - Posted on 09/19/04 @ 10:52 AM
- 113 Reasons to Have a Desk Job - Posted on 09/16/04 @ 01:27 PM
- Oversize Truck for Men With Small Winkies - Posted on 09/15/04 @ 06:47 AM
- Bend Burrito Joint Serves Cockroaches With Food - Posted on 09/12/04 @ 09:32 AM
- A Monster Killing Machine - Posted on 09/10/04 @ 07:53 AM
- Cremated Ashes Crash Through Woman's Roof - Posted on 09/06/04 @ 04:46 PM
- Bush's Resume - Posted on 09/05/04 @ 01:43 PM
- Three Killed Over IKEA Vouchers - Posted on 09/02/04 @ 02:15 PM
- You Thought Your Day Sucked? - Posted on 09/01/04 @ 04:15 PM
- 300 Animals Confiscated from Animal Hoarder - Posted on 09/01/04 @ 10:03 AM
- Random IRC Images - Posted on 08/23/04 @ 01:21 PM
- Twelve Ways to Crush Your Testicles - Posted on 08/22/04 @ 12:05 PM
- Replace every image on a WiFi network with goatse.cx - Posted on 08/20/04 @ 10:19 PM
- He's Lost over 300 Pounds - Posted on 08/15/04 @ 02:02 PM
- What a Perfect Day To Release This - Posted on 08/13/04 @ 08:53 PM
- I'm Not Afraid of Outsourcing - Posted on 08/12/04 @ 02:12 PM
- These Guys Are Frickin' Nuts - Posted on 08/10/04 @ 10:28 AM
- Driving Teacher Without License for 43 Years - Posted on 08/04/04 @ 08:45 AM
- Man Gets Head Stuck in Toilet - Posted on 08/03/04 @ 08:48 AM
- Steven Seagal, The Blues Singer?!? - Posted on 07/31/04 @ 07:36 AM
- That Explains A Lot - Posted on 07/29/04 @ 12:51 PM
- Watch Out On Your Commute Home - Posted on 07/20/04 @ 09:43 AM
- The Trekkie Apartment - Posted on 07/19/04 @ 09:31 AM
- Donkey Kills 43 - Posted on 07/15/04 @ 04:21 PM
- Make Your Own Energy Drink - Posted on 07/12/04 @ 04:59 PM
- Everything I Learned at MIT - Posted on 07/12/04 @ 04:25 PM
- A 2,200 Acre Mushroom in Eastern Oregon - Posted on 07/07/04 @ 05:20 PM
- Superman Festival Human Zoo - Posted on 07/04/04 @ 10:52 AM
- Another Reason to Hate AOL - Posted on 06/24/04 @ 09:20 AM
- Another Scary Stat - Posted on 06/20/04 @ 05:41 PM
- A Scary Stat - Posted on 06/20/04 @ 05:35 PM
- There Are Some Very Weird People Out There - Posted on 06/16/04 @ 01:45 PM
- That's Comforting - Posted on 06/09/04 @ 09:52 AM
- Please Shoot Me -- Or Him - Posted on 05/25/04 @ 10:32 AM
- You can find anything on DVD - Posted on 05/14/04 @ 06:57 PM
- I didn't need to see that - Posted on 04/25/04 @ 10:42 AM
- Brits are Crap at Password Security - Posted on 04/21/04 @ 05:26 PM
- Religious College = Prison? - Posted on 04/04/04 @ 03:51 PM
- Geeks deserve hazard pay - Posted on 03/16/04 @ 05:08 PM
- And you thought the TeleTubbies were weird - Posted on 03/03/04 @ 12:17 PM
- Wicked PayPal scam - Posted on 02/16/04 @ 10:22 AM
- Let's Go Fly A Kite - Posted on 02/15/04 @ 12:44 PM
- This guy's mom is crazy - Posted on 02/15/04 @ 11:50 AM
- The De-penguinator - Posted on 02/05/04 @ 03:16 PM
- Park ranger finds oiled-up nude man in parked truck - Posted on 02/03/04 @ 03:17 PM
- War is peace, right? - Posted on 02/01/04 @ 11:36 AM
- Dead whale explodes in busy city street - Posted on 01/29/04 @ 10:11 AM
- Sir Bill Gates? - Posted on 01/27/04 @ 04:35 PM
- You and your dog are too close when... - Posted on 01/27/04 @ 03:54 PM
- Do you chat naked? - Posted on 01/25/04 @ 04:11 PM
- Some scary e-mail statistics - Posted on 01/14/04 @ 04:37 PM
- That's going to sting a bit - Posted on 01/13/04 @ 05:30 PM
- Bad: Getting Stabbed on a Cold Night - Posted on 01/01/04 @ 05:39 PM
- Ladies and Gentlemen, the world's drunkest man - Posted on 12/29/03 @ 04:35 PM
- How to find expensive stuff on Amazon - Posted on 12/22/03 @ 03:38 PM
- "This is a story of a famous dog" - Posted on 12/11/03 @ 03:58 PM
- This is why I avoid Nascar - Posted on 12/11/03 @ 01:08 PM
- Watch out for attacking cows - Posted on 12/10/03 @ 05:08 PM
- 130-pound woman gives birth to 14-pound baby - Posted on 12/10/03 @ 12:00 AM
- I wish government entities would have never discovered Flash and Java - Posted on 11/30/03 @ 02:38 PM
- When you register a new domain, who are the first visitors? - Posted on 11/24/03 @ 06:13 PM
- Don't try this at home - Posted on 11/10/03 @ 12:26 PM
- Grasshoppers: 11, Humans: 0 - Posted on 11/04/03 @ 01:23 PM
- Brits are evil bastards - Posted on 10/26/03 @ 01:59 PM
- Kevin Costner as Neo? <shiver> - Posted on 10/21/03 @ 03:23 PM
- Mother nature was in a cranky mood - Posted on 09/21/03 @ 11:17 AM
- A storm is coming - Posted on 09/18/03 @ 12:45 PM
- You think you were speeding? - Posted on 09/07/03 @ 10:35 AM
- Weapons-grade uranium found in Iran - Posted on 08/27/03 @ 03:19 PM
- Man survives giant drill to the skull - Posted on 08/27/03 @ 02:56 PM
- Woman survives accident that imbedded nail in her brain - Posted on 08/06/03 @ 02:51 PM
- Record hailstone reported in Nebraska storm - Posted on 08/03/03 @ 03:24 PM
- Meet Lurch, the world's horniest bull - Posted on 07/21/03 @ 06:49 PM
- Beware of the teddy bear - Posted on 07/17/03 @ 11:16 AM
- Scariest Mug Shot Ever - Posted on 06/26/03 @ 11:12 AM
- If this ain't the scariest thing I've seen all week - Posted on 05/25/03 @ 12:05 PM
- Woman has seven pink Caddys from peddling Mary Kay stuff - Posted on 05/19/03 @ 12:07 PM
- 8 Days in an Iraqi prison - Posted on 04/24/03 @ 09:38 AM
- Stay the hell out of the ocean - Posted on 04/04/03 @ 11:13 AM
- Your keyboard could make you sick - Posted on 03/29/03 @ 08:57 AM
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