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UtterlyBoring.com is produced by Jake Ortman (e-mail, resume), a 30-something-year-old dad, percussionist, sysadmin, Web developer, IT consultant and jack-of-all-trades geek, living in Bend, Oregon. He created this so that his expensive journalism and technology degree isn't getting totally wasted. In addition to editing this site in his free time, he is the communications manager at Weston Technologies. He has LinkedIn and Facebook profiles if you're trying to stalk him. He will not be posting on Twitter.
Opinions and comments on this site are the opinions of the author, not the author's employer, family, friends or pets.
This site is powered by Movable Type and is hosted by orty.com. Since December 1st, 2002, there have been 6476 entries. Visitors to this blog have posted 21314 comments.
If you're reading this, you have too much time on your hands. |
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Entries posted in Moronic
- Stupidly Massive Link Dump - Posted on 07/12/12 @ 09:46 PM
- Reading Material - Posted on 02/01/11 @ 04:14 PM
- FarmVille Kills - Posted on 11/01/10 @ 11:13 PM
- Reading (and Watching) Material - Posted on 09/13/10 @ 04:08 PM
- Reading Material - Posted on 08/24/10 @ 03:47 PM
- Reading Material - Posted on 08/08/10 @ 04:29 PM
- Reading Material - Posted on 07/26/10 @ 12:22 PM
- Link Dump - Posted on 04/13/10 @ 03:26 PM
- More Reading Material - Posted on 02/22/10 @ 05:03 PM
- Another Reason Most Twitter Users Are Idiots - Posted on 02/17/10 @ 03:21 PM
- Link Cleanup - Posted on 01/03/10 @ 10:13 PM
- 22 Below - Posted on 12/08/09 @ 11:05 AM
- Parent Of The Year Nominee - Posted on 11/19/09 @ 10:21 PM
- Links For The Day - Posted on 11/03/09 @ 04:51 PM
- When You Mess With A Bull... - Posted on 09/22/09 @ 11:13 PM
- Anybody Know How To Find A Property Manager For A Specific Home in Bend? - Posted on 09/15/09 @ 11:31 PM
- All In Favor Of Winter Being Over, Say "Aye" - Posted on 04/28/09 @ 12:08 PM
- How UPS Really Treats Your Packages - Posted on 01/05/09 @ 10:58 PM
- Are Some eBay Buyers Just That Stupid? - Posted on 01/01/09 @ 07:17 PM
- You Think He Would've Learned His Lesson - Posted on 12/30/08 @ 02:53 PM
- Looking For A New Source Of Income? - Posted on 12/16/08 @ 10:22 PM
- If You're Trying To Hide Away From A Crime On Foot... - Posted on 12/14/08 @ 10:55 PM
- Why Did This Guy Think This Was A Good Idea? - Posted on 11/25/08 @ 11:28 PM
- "These cuts on my arms? I was trying to be a hero..." - Posted on 11/17/08 @ 09:54 AM
- Happy Halloween - Posted on 10/30/08 @ 11:03 PM
- Be Safe Today - Posted on 07/04/08 @ 09:28 AM
- Stupid Kids - Posted on 06/26/08 @ 10:58 PM
- Global Warming My Ass - Posted on 04/21/08 @ 09:31 PM
- "MySpace is the anti-Christ for children" - Posted on 04/08/08 @ 05:03 PM
- Just FYI - Posted on 03/24/08 @ 10:07 PM
- BendBroadband is Giving You More Speed... - Posted on 03/21/08 @ 11:38 PM
- Drugs Make You Do Stupid Things - Posted on 03/10/08 @ 10:46 PM
- Some Of The Area's Finest - Posted on 10/25/07 @ 10:47 PM
- Another Mom Of The Year Nominee - Posted on 07/19/07 @ 04:19 PM
- I Might Get Arrested For This - Posted on 06/28/07 @ 05:25 PM
- Stupid Lawsuit For The Day - Posted on 06/25/07 @ 11:39 PM
- Gutsy Criminal For The Day - Posted on 05/06/07 @ 05:00 PM
- Maniac Drives Through Bend, Videotapes it, Posts It Online - Posted on 01/18/07 @ 05:09 PM
- Vodka Does Bad Things - Posted on 12/20/06 @ 10:41 PM
- Idiot For The Day - Posted on 12/10/06 @ 04:45 PM
- Some People Are Such Idiots - Posted on 11/29/06 @ 04:45 PM
- Another Moron For The Day - Posted on 08/01/06 @ 04:13 PM
- Not The Brightest Bulb In The Bunch, Are We? - Posted on 08/01/06 @ 03:13 PM
- What a Crybaby - Posted on 07/24/06 @ 05:24 PM
- Stupid Lawsuit For The Day - Posted on 07/09/06 @ 03:01 PM
- Local Idiot For The Day - Posted on 06/15/06 @ 07:50 PM
- Bill O'Reilly Is A Moron, Volume 2 - Posted on 05/18/06 @ 09:56 AM
- Don't We Wish We Had His Problems - Posted on 05/05/06 @ 10:48 PM
- Two Local Teenage Idiots Nearly Kill Themselves - Posted on 04/18/06 @ 01:26 PM
- DEA Agent Shoots Himself in Foot, Sues U.S. - Posted on 04/17/06 @ 03:39 PM
- Moron Crook For The Day - Posted on 04/13/06 @ 11:10 AM
- Did Anybody Else Get The Jim Smolich Motors Spam? - Posted on 04/12/06 @ 11:32 AM
- Some People Need A Hobby - Posted on 03/28/06 @ 03:28 PM
- Idiot Crook For The Day - Posted on 03/18/06 @ 08:00 AM
- Barry Bonds Is Screwed - Posted on 03/07/06 @ 04:29 PM
- AOL and Yahoo Are Idiots - Posted on 02/08/06 @ 04:30 PM
- Parenting At Its Finest - Posted on 01/22/06 @ 11:58 AM
- Idiot Crook For The Day - Posted on 12/28/05 @ 11:54 PM
- People Do Stupid Things - Posted on 12/06/05 @ 02:43 PM
- Japanese Gangsters Caused Hurricane Katrina - Posted on 09/26/05 @ 05:24 PM
- Parenting At Its Finest - Posted on 09/20/05 @ 11:37 AM
- Stupidity is Alive and Well in Texas - Posted on 09/13/05 @ 05:03 PM
- More New Orleans Links: Lousy Gov't Response, Heroes, Volunteers, and More - Posted on 09/05/05 @ 05:48 PM
- Now That They've Declared Martial Law, Can They Shoot the Looters? - Posted on 08/30/05 @ 11:21 PM
- New Orleans Is A Mess - Posted on 08/30/05 @ 10:03 AM
- Moron Crook For The Day - Posted on 08/16/05 @ 10:54 AM
- Moron Crook For The Day - Posted on 07/27/05 @ 11:09 PM
- Good To Hear Britain Is Full Of Idiots, Too - Posted on 07/25/05 @ 01:03 PM
- Kids Is Dumb - Posted on 07/13/05 @ 11:33 PM
- Stupid Lawsuit For The Week - Posted on 07/10/05 @ 09:50 PM
- Stupid Criminal For The Day #2 - Posted on 06/22/05 @ 10:58 AM
- Stupid Criminal For The Day - Posted on 06/22/05 @ 10:40 AM
- Parenting At Its Finest - Posted on 06/10/05 @ 01:27 PM
- Morons For The Day - Posted on 05/25/05 @ 04:31 PM
- Idiot For The Day - Posted on 05/05/05 @ 01:34 PM
- Comment Spammers Need To Die - Posted on 05/03/05 @ 04:35 PM
- Idiot For The Day - Posted on 04/26/05 @ 08:55 PM
- Idiot Crook For The Day - Posted on 04/06/05 @ 10:04 AM
- Your Idiot For The Day - Posted on 03/21/05 @ 02:06 PM
- Note To Self - Posted on 03/10/05 @ 03:20 PM
- Why Video Phones Are Good - Posted on 03/03/05 @ 04:03 PM
- Sexual Experiment Gone Bad - Posted on 03/03/05 @ 12:28 PM
- Cell Phone Drivers Don't Kill People - Posted on 02/23/05 @ 02:49 PM
- 71% Of Kids Are Lazy Bastards - Posted on 02/22/05 @ 11:15 PM
- Bush Calls This "Uniquely American"?!? - Posted on 02/09/05 @ 05:02 PM
- Idiotic Lawsuit For The Day - Posted on 02/02/05 @ 03:28 PM
- Coffee Drinkers Don't Care About Contaminated Water - Posted on 01/28/05 @ 07:20 AM
- The Most Annoying Web Page - Posted on 01/19/05 @ 09:22 AM
- Idiot For The Day - Posted on 12/23/04 @ 12:24 PM
- Moron Crook For The Day - Posted on 12/20/04 @ 03:55 PM
- Idiot For The Day - Posted on 12/20/04 @ 11:47 AM
- Another Darwin Nominee - Posted on 12/17/04 @ 07:49 AM
- Moron Crook For The Day #2 - Posted on 12/16/04 @ 11:25 AM
- Moron Crook For The Day - Posted on 12/16/04 @ 11:23 AM
- People Aren't Too Bright - Posted on 12/16/04 @ 10:44 AM
- Military Stupidity - Posted on 12/14/04 @ 09:12 PM
- Somebody Must Have Done Bad On Her Finals - Posted on 12/09/04 @ 09:23 AM
- Moron Crook For The Day #2 - Posted on 12/08/04 @ 04:24 PM
- Moron Crook For The Day - Posted on 12/08/04 @ 04:20 PM
- A Special Kind Of Idiot - Posted on 12/07/04 @ 11:17 PM
- Kids Are Dumb - Posted on 12/07/04 @ 11:15 PM
- The French Are Idiots - Posted on 12/07/04 @ 02:30 PM
- Another Local Moron Crook - Posted on 12/02/04 @ 02:39 PM
- I Smell A Darwin Award - Posted on 12/01/04 @ 03:37 PM
- Can't We Make Alabama Secede? - Posted on 12/01/04 @ 09:50 AM
- Nascar Fans Are Idiots - Posted on 11/29/04 @ 09:46 AM
- What Not To Do With A Teenage Daughter - Posted on 11/28/04 @ 02:02 PM
- That's Going To Sting - Posted on 11/27/04 @ 09:04 AM
- If You're Going To Get Drunk and Rowdy... - Posted on 11/25/04 @ 12:19 PM
- Moron Crook For The Day - Posted on 11/22/04 @ 03:23 PM
- Why I Will Never Donate To Goodwill Again - Posted on 11/18/04 @ 04:08 PM
- I Don't Know Who's Dumber - Posted on 11/16/04 @ 05:03 PM
- People Is Dumb - Posted on 11/15/04 @ 10:11 AM
- Moron Cops For The Day - Posted on 11/10/04 @ 09:02 AM
- Moron For the Day - Posted on 10/14/04 @ 05:03 PM
- Be Careful, He's Got A Knife! - Posted on 10/14/04 @ 02:07 PM
- State Police Need Press Release Writing Help - Posted on 10/05/04 @ 12:02 PM
- Moron Crook for the Day - Posted on 09/28/04 @ 04:30 PM
- Asinine Lawsuit for the Day - Posted on 09/28/04 @ 04:20 PM
- Somebody's Having Too Much Fun - Posted on 09/28/04 @ 04:06 PM
- Darwin Prevails - Posted on 09/07/04 @ 09:09 AM
- Warning: Idiot Robber at Work Inside - Posted on 08/30/04 @ 11:24 PM
- The NCAA Is Close-Minded - Posted on 08/30/04 @ 06:42 PM
- Your Moron Crook For The Day - Posted on 08/24/04 @ 12:12 PM
- Idiot Crook For The Day - Posted on 08/20/04 @ 07:00 AM
- Moron Crook For The Day - Posted on 08/05/04 @ 10:29 PM
- And You Thought C-SPAN Was Boring - Posted on 08/04/04 @ 09:50 AM
- "Whoa. That Sucks, Dude." - Posted on 08/02/04 @ 04:22 PM
- Another Moron Crook - Posted on 07/31/04 @ 07:32 AM
- Somebody Needs To Put Some Chlorine In The Gene Pool - Posted on 07/30/04 @ 07:15 AM
- Moronic Crook For The Day - Posted on 07/29/04 @ 02:22 PM
- Florida Loses Voting Records - Posted on 07/29/04 @ 01:37 PM
- Sad But True - Posted on 07/20/04 @ 11:27 AM
- "Biggitry [sic] isn't a good Christian Value" - Posted on 07/19/04 @ 09:41 AM
- Despite the Money, Inmates Still Go Free?!? - Posted on 07/13/04 @ 09:30 PM
- Communists - Posted on 07/05/04 @ 10:03 AM
- Why Spam Will Never Die - Posted on 07/05/04 @ 09:47 AM
- This Is Very Typical Sony - Posted on 07/01/04 @ 02:13 PM
- Portable DSL? - Posted on 06/28/04 @ 04:34 PM
- Drunken Fool Nukes Cat - Posted on 06/23/04 @ 10:29 AM
- Government Money Well Spent - Posted on 06/23/04 @ 10:26 AM
- More Government Waste - Posted on 06/22/04 @ 05:47 PM
- Moron For The Day - Posted on 06/21/04 @ 08:56 AM
- Software Pirates are Idiots - Posted on 06/20/04 @ 05:15 PM
- Idiot for the Day - Posted on 06/17/04 @ 11:26 PM
- Professor Predicts End of Spam -- In Two Years - Posted on 06/16/04 @ 04:25 PM
- Stupid Frat Brothers - Posted on 05/25/04 @ 10:35 AM
- Someone's Getting a Beatin' - Posted on 05/24/04 @ 04:48 PM
- Man Beats Baby For Breaking Playstation 2 - Posted on 05/09/04 @ 01:55 PM
- Rubberneckers Sink Boat Trying To See Nude Beach - Posted on 05/03/04 @ 12:38 PM
- Teen is surprised burning cross got so much attention - Posted on 04/26/04 @ 01:51 PM
- Your Moron for the Day - Posted on 04/25/04 @ 10:45 AM
- HP Introduces New Support Tools - Posted on 04/15/04 @ 10:10 AM
- Some Lawyers Have Too Much Time (and Money) on Their Hands - Posted on 04/14/04 @ 03:50 PM
- Cable Companies Drive Me Crazy - Posted on 03/30/04 @ 09:36 AM
- This is why spam will never die - Posted on 03/15/04 @ 01:51 PM
- Another Brilliant Solution to Spam - Posted on 03/10/04 @ 04:19 PM
- Is Donald Trump's Face on it? - Posted on 03/09/04 @ 12:15 PM
- Customer Service At Its Finest - Posted on 02/27/04 @ 09:36 PM
- Idiot Crooks - Posted on 02/18/04 @ 03:49 PM
- That's pure genius - Posted on 02/11/04 @ 04:29 PM
- David Hasselhoff defeated communism - Posted on 02/02/04 @ 10:51 PM
- Bill Gates says no more spam by 2006 - Posted on 01/27/04 @ 05:06 PM
- Patent lawyer puts claim to entire Internet - Posted on 01/19/04 @ 04:29 PM
- Man survives leap into lion's den - Posted on 01/13/04 @ 05:45 PM
- A six-year-old terrorist? - Posted on 01/12/04 @ 05:11 PM
- Andrew Dice Clay ain't making any friends - Posted on 12/01/03 @ 10:17 PM
- Stupid politicians apparently have nothing else to worry about - Posted on 09/16/03 @ 05:55 PM
- Man gets away with paying with $200 bill - Posted on 09/15/03 @ 05:33 PM
- Boy dies after daring teen to hit him on the head with a skateboard - Posted on 09/10/03 @ 04:36 PM
- Teen girls call sheriff's cell phone to order marijuana -- twice - Posted on 09/08/03 @ 04:56 PM
- Kids, don't be stupid like this guy - Posted on 08/13/03 @ 06:03 PM
- Please may we delete this page - Posted on 08/05/03 @ 04:48 PM
- Don't fill up the gas tank for your scooter in your kitchen - Posted on 07/23/03 @ 09:57 AM
- What not to do during thunderstorm - Posted on 07/22/03 @ 05:21 PM
- City installs new bus stops -- too bad they're not on bus route - Posted on 07/01/03 @ 10:37 AM
- Note to self: Don't get drunk and try to walk a two-foot wide catwalk - Posted on 06/26/03 @ 02:04 PM
- Height of powerlines proves no obstacle for persistent drunk - Posted on 05/12/03 @ 01:51 PM
- Teen critically hurt after making "Jackass"-like leap into pool - Posted on 05/08/03 @ 01:38 PM
- The Music Industry Folks are Morons - Posted on 05/08/03 @ 11:49 AM
- So that's what they mean by cockpit - Posted on 05/04/03 @ 09:05 AM
- Grocery shopper/crook picks wrong line to pay for her groceries - Posted on 05/04/03 @ 07:00 AM
- If you stole a cheesy oil portrait of Uday Hussein... - Posted on 05/02/03 @ 11:13 PM
- 'Portable' stripper pole - Posted on 04/22/03 @ 09:45 AM
- Fugitive caught after appearing on game show - Posted on 04/20/03 @ 01:42 PM
- Unfortunate product names - Posted on 04/18/03 @ 02:11 PM
- Man Gets Company's Logo Tattooed On Head - Posted on 04/12/03 @ 10:41 AM
- Girl hurt in 45 mph shopping cart crash - Posted on 03/27/03 @ 05:26 PM
- Morgue mistakenly cremates wrong body - Posted on 03/10/03 @ 12:12 PM
- Fla. Woman Charged With Transmitting HIV To 200 Partners - Posted on 03/09/03 @ 05:46 PM
- This is why these morons will always be working at Taco Bell - Posted on 03/08/03 @ 10:00 AM
- BSA attempts to shut down Open Source software site - Posted on 03/07/03 @ 10:42 AM
- In yet another waste of government resources - Posted on 03/06/03 @ 05:13 PM
- Yet another reason why certain people shouldn't have authority - Posted on 03/06/03 @ 11:12 AM
- Major League ball-player hurts neck putting on hat - Posted on 03/03/03 @ 11:42 AM
- Man who tossed dog into traffic sues newspaper, grieving owner - Posted on 02/28/03 @ 03:11 PM
- British magician to entomb himself -- in cheese - Posted on 02/28/03 @ 11:46 AM
- Ex-"Dell dude" says pot bust was really a blessing - Posted on 02/27/03 @ 11:40 AM
- New Priest Sex Scandal - Posted on 02/24/03 @ 09:43 AM
- Gas prices are soaring - Posted on 02/22/03 @ 05:29 PM
- Mom sues after daughter isn't named valedictorian - Posted on 02/17/03 @ 12:42 PM
- Man decapitated while fleeing police - Posted on 02/16/03 @ 11:56 AM
- Whatever Oprah says, people do - Posted on 02/14/03 @ 12:22 PM
- Man: I wouldn't normally do $100K in vandalism to a school - Posted on 02/13/03 @ 11:13 AM
- Man causes stir by spilling soda at FBI building - Posted on 02/13/03 @ 11:10 AM
- "Dude, you're getting some weed!" - Posted on 02/10/03 @ 12:13 PM
- Man killed in spat over best view of strippers at club - Posted on 02/10/03 @ 09:44 AM
- Man eats Three pounds of meat in 4 minutes - Posted on 02/08/03 @ 10:43 AM
- It's Super Bowl Sunday - Posted on 01/26/03 @ 12:57 PM
- Rumsfeld orders .mil Web lockdown - Posted on 01/20/03 @ 09:01 AM
- Woman hits husband with mercedes four times, tells reporters "It was an accident" - Posted on 01/19/03 @ 01:20 PM
- Girl gives frozen metal pole a lickin', her tongue keeps on stickin' - Posted on 01/18/03 @ 12:20 PM
- Why do people feel the need to bash and/or shoot at car windows? - Posted on 01/11/03 @ 12:13 PM
- PETA Launching Boycott of KFC - Posted on 01/06/03 @ 01:44 PM
- 5-year-old drives drunken mom home - Posted on 01/06/03 @ 09:22 AM
- Record broken for smashing concrete blocks into groin - Posted on 01/06/03 @ 09:08 AM
- "Hi Jim, we're being held hostage. Call me." - Posted on 01/06/03 @ 09:02 AM
- What's worse: TV Newscasters or Politicians? - Posted on 01/05/03 @ 02:03 PM
- Tourists can kiss my a**... - Posted on 12/29/02 @ 10:41 AM
- Berkeley Mayor Admits to Role in Throwing Out Newspapers - Posted on 12/08/02 @ 09:00 AM
- If I won the lottery... - Posted on 12/02/02 @ 03:17 PM
- Ask for directions next time - Posted on 12/02/02 @ 09:32 AM
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