Utterly Boring dot com

The Lie Clock

A co-worker sent me this one...

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks?"

St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."

"Oh," said the man, "Whose clock is that?"

That's Nelson Mandela's. The hands have never moved, indicating that he never told a lie."

Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?"

St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."

Where's Bush's clock?" asked the man.

St. Peter responded, "Bush's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."

Posted by Jake on 08/03/06 @ 03:30 PM
Posted in Funny | 6 Comments | Permalink
Submit to digg, del.icio.us, reddit, or stumbleupon

6 Comments

ttj said on 08/03/06 @ 10:49 PM:
i love u

Jen said on 08/04/06 @ 09:13 AM:
roflpmp

Mirth said on 08/04/06 @ 10:28 AM:
This was oringally a joke about adultery. The clocks jumped ahead 15 mins everytime you commited adultery etc, "where is my wife's clock?" said the man. "Oh, God keeps it in his chamber, He uses it as a fan"

Jake said on 08/04/06 @ 02:11 PM:
ROFLPMP? What the hell does that mean?

Will said on 08/04/06 @ 04:32 PM:
I'm guessing it means:

rolling on the floor laughing,

peeing (peed) my pants.

just a guess

Jake said on 08/04/06 @ 11:20 PM:
OK, I didn't need to have a mental image of Jen rolling around peeing her pants -- thanks Will ;-)

Post a comment












HTML Allowed: a href, b, br, p, strong, em, ul, li, blockquote




Note: There is currently a problem with special characters causing errors when you try to comment, so if you're copying information from another Web site that has smart quotes or em dashes or ellipses or similar, please remove them and manually type them out.

Comment Policy: Comments on older entries or comments containing a bunch of links are moderated automatically on this site to help fight comment spam. If you don't see your comment after submitting, it will appear on the site after it has been approved. We also reserve the right to remove your comment for any reason we see fit, but if you keep it remotely on topic, it'll stay.

What are you doing down here? Don't you have something better to do? Like Go Back To The Top of the page, or even see who created this site? This site is © 2001 - 2008 by the Utterly Boring folks at UtterlyBoring.com. Steal my content, as I probably did, too, just link to my site or the original site. Batteries not included. One size fits all. Not for off-road use. Not for internal use. Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball. Technorati Profile.