The Lie Clock
A co-worker sent me this one...
A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks?"
St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."
"Oh," said the man, "Whose clock is that?"
That's Nelson Mandela's. The hands have never moved, indicating that he never told a lie."
Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?"
St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."
Where's Bush's clock?" asked the man.
St. Peter responded, "Bush's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."