Utterly Boring dot com

Some Critter Messed Up My Car After Crapping In It

You ever have one of those days where it starts off so weird that you know it's going to be an odd day? This is going to be one of those days ...

So I got into my car this morning to begin my commute out to Sunriver, and my car's running really bad, like a spark plug/cable was shot and it wasn't firing on all cylinders. So I pop the hood, and notice several things a bit odd (though the spark plug wires appeared to be plugged in OK). One, the insulation covering the underside of my hood has a big chunk (1 foot by 2 foot) taken out of it, and there are pieces of the stuff all over my engine and under my car. Two, there's a little wire loom where several of the wires are now exposed where they weren't before. And three, there is some sort of critter feces sitting atop the wheel well.

I couldn't identify the excrement (it sort of looked like cat, but "Feces Indentifier" is not something you will find on my resume). I didn't have a lot of time to look at it as I just needed to take my wife's car and get to work. But it appears some little critter somehow got up underneath my car, up into the engine cavity, and did some damage. My guess is that whatever got in there got scared to death that it couldn't easily get out (I have a compact old Subaru), started freaking out, pooped, cut up some stuff, and then finally wiggled out (there was more droppings under the car). More than likely, my spark plug wires are probably sliced up a bit, but I didn't have time to look at them this morning.

Makes me wish I had that ultra high-end surveillance system in place (if the crook is reading this, there still isn't anything worth taking out of those cars).

We'll just have to see how the rest of the day goes. On the bright side, my wife has the nicer car, and it's far more comfortable to drive.

Update at 10:03: Had a closer look under my hood. I'm no car whiz, but my guess is you shouldn't discover more poop when looking under there (it was there before, I just didn't see it). I tried pulling the spark plug wires, and broke them getting them out (the conducters came out of the things). Obviously, nobody's open right now so I can buy wires, so I'll have to go tomorrow and get some replacements, along with new plugs, and then try to fix the wiring that the critter slashed up (a wiring loom was on the ground under the car, and the wires are pretty hosed so it'll probably have to be professionally repaired). So we'll see how it goes tomorrow. Meanwhile, I'll be bumming a ride off my dad this week.

Posted by Jake on 06/04/06 @ 11:25 AM
Posted in Jake, Weird | 6 Comments | Permalink
Submit to digg, del.icio.us, reddit, or stumbleupon

6 Comments

Bailey said on 06/05/06 @ 12:06 AM:
Jake -- that ain't no cat doing that sort of damage. Porcupine though, would be totally feasible. Stupid things LOVE rubber! And they have bigass gnawing teeth that don't quit. ;)

thomas osborne said on 06/05/06 @ 07:56 AM:
I'm thinking porcupine, too.

When a friend and I pulled into a remote trailhead in British Columbia once, we were surprised to see chicken wire wrapped around the few cars parked there. A local at the trailhead told us that the chicken wire was to keep porcupines from eating your engine hoses. I wanted to think it was urban myth, but for the next five days while we were in the mountains, I kept thinking a Canadian porcupine was making a meal out of my Subaru.

We were lucky enough to survive, but I've always thought I should add chicken wire to the travel arsenal in porcupine country.



Jack K. said on 06/05/06 @ 09:49 AM:
...an alternative culprit may be woodrats (Neotona cinerea). They are a cute little furry woodland creature that will get up under the hood to nest and mess around (ironically, I had a problem with them chewing on the wires of a Subaru I owned a number of years ago)...

Mouringdove said on 06/05/06 @ 04:20 PM:
Yes, I agree. It's a woodrat. We had a truck nearly destroyed this year. This guy had chunks of wood, mushrooms, dog turds, rocks, fiberglass, plastic pieces, fur, juniper bark, dirt, everything he could find stuffed in everywhere he could put it along with chewing up wires, connectors, cables... WHAT A MESS! It took forever to clean out and it still drives rough. Those critters are real trouble. If he's still around, he'll be back. We tried putting bags of hot tub chlorine under the hood when we let it sit for a long time.

Bailey said on 06/05/06 @ 06:55 PM:
LOL! Never even heard of a woodrat! We don't have those here in the midwest. ;) But it sure does sound like an annoying critter ~~~

Re the porcupines - I worked as a ranger at a state park a few years ago, at a park which was overrun with porcupines. A few times each summer we would have campers with chewed brake lines and engine hoses. We would check the cars parked in the lots each night (it was a wilderness area so the campsites were pack-in) and shoo out any porkies that we found under cars -- and leave a note for the owner if we did find a porkie under their car.

On the campsites the porcupines also ate peoples' tents, mallets, shoes/boots, axe handles... anything rubber or SALTY from sweat! They were really destructive little bastards.

yoleen said on 06/10/06 @ 07:44 AM:
A common culprit in our neck of the woods is a packrat. Very cute, and even more destructive. Nothing scared about him. He's just doing his destructive packrat thing.

Post a comment












HTML Allowed: a href, b, br, p, strong, em, ul, li, blockquote




Note: There is currently a problem with special characters causing errors when you try to comment, so if you're copying information from another Web site that has smart quotes or em dashes or ellipses or similar, please remove them and manually type them out.

Comment Policy: Comments on older entries or comments containing a bunch of links are moderated automatically on this site to help fight comment spam. If you don't see your comment after submitting, it will appear on the site after it has been approved. We also reserve the right to remove your comment for any reason we see fit, but if you keep it remotely on topic, it'll stay.

What are you doing down here? Don't you have something better to do? Like Go Back To The Top of the page, or even see who created this site? This site is © 2001 - 2008 by the Utterly Boring folks at UtterlyBoring.com. Steal my content, as I probably did, too, just link to my site or the original site. Batteries not included. One size fits all. Not for off-road use. Not for internal use. Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball. Technorati Profile.