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There Are Better Ways To Kill Yourself

Nail guns are not one of them as apparently even when you shoot yourself with twelve nails, you still might live (linking to a KTVZ copy of the story, as the KGW version requires you to register and makes its a pain to use the BugMeNot extension in Firefox).

Posted by Jake on 04/23/06 @ 09:54 AM
Posted in Weird | 21 Comments | Permalink
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21 Comments

Paul said on 04/23/06 @ 06:28 PM:
Its actually very easy to login to KGW with BugMeNot. Just disable Javascript for a second, log in, and switch it back on.

Jake said on 04/23/06 @ 10:24 PM:
Or, I could just get the content from elsewhere and save myself the trouble and give somebody else the traffic and ad revenue :-)

Paul said on 04/24/06 @ 11:58 AM:
Of course. My bad. :)

brittany said on 05/20/06 @ 08:35 PM:
well, this may sound weird but i ahev about 101 ways to kill yorself...

julia said on 01/12/07 @ 08:24 PM:
(to brittany) wut r ur 101 ways to commit suicide?

brittany said on 01/17/07 @ 02:14 PM:
look i need help and i want to die call me at 5145293 if u think u can help

Phil said on 02/01/07 @ 08:29 AM:
There was thing man tried to paper cut himself to death but only went paranoid with 3157 paper cuts and enough paper fiber in his body to make a notebook but he had major surgery in to his body to get out the fiber and when that didnt they had to give him a lethal injection to get it out of his body but once they got it out he came right back to life. seems that injection fluid only went to the paper fiber instead of his blood stream.

kelsii said on 06/08/07 @ 05:36 PM:
god life really isnt worth living and it pisses me off that im too much of a candy ass to just pull the trigger

ladonna said on 06/09/07 @ 02:27 AM:
well i agree but if i was going to kill myself im doing it by slitting my wrists and leaveing a crypitic note

Andre said on 08/29/07 @ 06:37 PM:
Funny, but a person can even screw up when using a gun to off him or her self. And it is just so easy and evenly cowardly to simply use a gun to resolve the angst and torment within. There is something artistic and romantic in the more creative ways one can dream of to off-one's self, and while nail guns could be used to make such an artistic statement, I feel there is nothing quite as lovely as exquisitely executed corpse that has been deftly hung from the hall brace with an electrical cord.

Will said on 10/07/07 @ 08:46 AM:
Yah what about people who try and hang them selfs and end up retarted. thats the worst.. i need a pill 1 pill sleep over, no messy blood or anything.

Josh said on 01/18/08 @ 02:47 PM:
OD on anti-depression pills and wine, but leave two notes... One is a clear note about how you are doing better (place it in a personal journal or w.e) and that you have gone to see a shrink who put you on the pills. Then, leave another note that is a cryptic one about your girlfriend or whatever leaving you and how you know that taking one more pill will make you feel better. If you can, die holding the note!!! Oh, as a courtesy you could go get a really expensive bottle of wine and leave it for the person who finds you to cope with (along with some extra pills). Stocking the fridge with as many different kinds of alcohol you can find, then littering your floor with roses or something of the sort is a good touch.

Rommel said on 01/18/08 @ 06:31 PM:
I agree, shooting yourself or even hanging yourself can be messy and even leave you in a vegetative state if you mess things up. Go to www.rotten.com if you want to see some pretty gruesome pics of suicide attempts that have failed and left the victims in a worse state than before the attempted the feat. My advice: find that tall building that still allows people to go on its roof, or better yet one whose windows open and is over the 8th floor and just jump out, its a nice free fall, and after the splat its pretty painless and you don't know what happened. At least that's what I am surmising. Who really knows what happens after we die or especially kill ourselves? Karma can be a tricky thing you know.

leanna puzon said on 02/01/08 @ 01:34 PM:
this shit is krazy!!!!

Rommel said on 02/01/08 @ 01:50 PM:
Craziness and shite is a matter of one's own perspective. Personally, you have no idea of the Kafkaesque hell I am currently going through, and the fact that right now the Secret Service actually have me pegged as someone shadowing Bush to, you know, off him. Which is utter bull shit. But read Kafka's "The Trial" for a better perspective on how mental illness can win you the ire and paranoia from those who claim to be looking out only for your "best interests" -- hence give me a way out, and I would prefer someone to kill me rather than I to off myself to be rather frank about it.

Rommel said on 02/01/08 @ 02:06 PM:
oh, and little Leanna, if that is her real name has a page on Reunion.com and claims to be a 15 year old from Clarkesville, TN. Well, a teenage girl might know a thing or two about angst, but she sure doesn't know anything about about the real or lasting effects of mental illness. The book "Girl, Interrupted" did a pretty good job of touching on the subject but was cursory and superficial at best , if anything what it did best and what the world in general lacks is empathy and the ability to genuinely listen to and appreciate those who are suffering and in pain. And suicide is not so much a selfish act in many cases as it is a plea for help, and wanting to die is more a cry or plea of desperation and loneliness, but those of you who don't know, or have never experienced mental illness would never know that. And I doubt if Leanna has as well. Leanna launched, or attempted to launch a website entitled "www.leannahatesyou.com" and it just goes to prove how immature and childish she at 15 really is, and how much she needs to learn and grow. The term "utter bored" and "utterly boring" has a completely different context for me, and I suppose Leanna was just looking up "ways to kill yourself" on a lark, well, toots, welcome to the dark world of clinical depressive mental illness, it is dark and it ain't pretty and I have been suffering with this crap since 1978. What's your, or anyone else's excuse?

Roi said on 02/27/08 @ 10:54 PM:
What is the best pill to get the job done as far as killing myself? Does anyone have a clue. Barbituates?

Rommel Miller said on 02/28/08 @ 08:04 AM:
No one pill will do it, you need a whole mess of them, and different ones with differing purposes help too, so does washing them down with plenty of vodka. Look at what did Heath Ledger in, it wasn't one pill, it was the combination of several working together to shut his system down, that with his drinking and just pill popping in general led to the shut down of his organs. Personally, I like the idea of suicide by cop these days, its a state sanctioned from of offing yourself. Make the gesture like you've got a gun and your either going to kill yourself or someone else and go on a bit of an insane rampage, don't really hurt anyone, just pretend, the cops'll still take you out if you make them beleive that you are desperate enough. And its not even a suicide per se, THEY killed ya. What's better than that?

jenni said on 08/14/08 @ 10:31 PM:
you guys rly have NO lyfe.

butterfly said on 10/11/08 @ 02:02 PM:
the darkness just keeps coming at me full force,and i just cant take it anymore! i know i should be looking for a way to survie but just cant do that anymore because i have no reasons.i mean shit the one person i have wants to die too. lonleiness and heartach are my onlly true friends they seem to be the only ones who stick around. so give me a reason to be missed .

butterfly said on 10/15/08 @ 07:13 PM:
things have been getting worse. i am just so close to doing what i need to do to drift away to thqt infent abyss. hell i am all ready there. i just hope the next one is better! on 200 pills getting tired god i hope this works! thank you for letting me share!

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