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UtterlyBoring.com is produced by Jake Ortman (e-mail, resume), a 33-year-old dad, percussionist, sysadmin, Web developer, IT consultant and jack-of-all-trades geek, living in Bend, Oregon. He created this so that his expensive journalism and technology degree isn't getting totally wasted. In addition to editing this site in his free time, he is the IT Director and graphic designer at both Sunray and Discover Sunriver. He has LinkedIn and Facebook profiles if you're trying to stalk him. He will not be posting on Twitter.
Opinions and comments on this site are the opinions of the author, not the author's employer, family, friends or pets.
This site is powered by Movable Type and is hosted by orty.com. Since December 1st, 2002, there have been 6427 entries. Visitors to this blog have posted 20903 comments.
If you're reading this, you have too much time on your hands. |
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It's Like Wikipedia Gone Bad
It's the Uncyclopedia. There are some hilarious entries there, like this bit about Ann Coulter: Ann was born as John in Salt Lake City, Utah to polygamist Mormon parents. She had one daddy and twelve mommies. She does not know which one was her "real" mommy because she was such an annoying brat as a child that they all claimed she was the child of one of the other women. A recent search of her birth records, however, has revealed that she was the daughter of none of them; she is the spawn of Satan (a.k.a. Barry Manilow) and Barbra Streisand, who paid the Mormon polygamists to raise Ann as one of their own. Ann, however, remains unaware of her parentage. She is likely to remain in the dark, as she is illiterate. Or this excerpt from an entry on Oprah:Oprah Winfrey (born April 1, 1337) is a woman seeking world domination disguised as an innocent talk show host. Most people are not aware that she is evil due to her cunning and manipulative nature. Some specialists claim she has superhuman powers, which would classify her as a supervillain. (She has been known to devour a whole universe in a single gulp.)
Oprah was born into a dysfunctional family of circus clowns. When she was a teenager, she ran away to escape her abusive pet cat, Skanks. Fleeing to and creating the village on the Island of L'aard, Oprah became a woman. She acquired a very sizable sum of money by robbing churches and performing coat hanger abortions under the light of the full moon. Oprah invested this money in Microsoft stock; now she has more money than Bill Gates. She once killed a bear on live television, then ate its entrails while the audience looked on in horror, afraid to move lest they be the next target of consumption. The next day the subject of Oprah's program was how to deal with the trauma caused by watching talk show hosts eat bear entrails. There was much crying, and only a few casualties. Actually everyone died. Thanks a hundred places for that link.
1 Comment
Wyrd said on 03/20/05 @ 11:16 AM: I think Oprah is now eating her own entrails in an attempt to become earth friendly and recycle. Oh yeah, and that cat that used to bother her? She ate it too.
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